The mundane thrill of 'romanticising your life'

Have you ever had someone tell you to 'stop daydreaming'? The next time they do so, tell them you're doing it because it's good for your mental health. This is known as 'romanticising your life' and is akin to the act of mindfulness. Although it has been around for a long time, it has also been a common social media trend in the last few years, most recently notching up over 270K views on TikTok.

The term 'romanticising your life' might spark thoughts of Bridgerton-like escapades or frolicking in the English countryside, searching for Mr Darcy a la Jane Austen's evergreen favourite Pride and Prejudice. However, it doesn't at all involve romance in the literal sense. It's about living in the moment and appreciating the little things in life. Basically, be the heroine in your own movie, which is the story of your life.

“The term 'romanticising your life' has risen to popularity since the pandemic,” explains Theresa Pong, counselling director at The Relationship Room. “It simply means making intentional efforts to appreciate life’s blessings, no matter how small they are. Additionally, it also means being present to experience the process of how these blessings bring positivity into your life.”

So how is this similar to practising mindfulness? Mindfulness involves having moment-by-moment awareness of how our thoughts, feelings and bodily sensations interact with the surroundings, says Theresa. Romanticising your life also, similarly, emphasises the present moment we're experiencing, using our senses. Plus, it helps us to put our focus on appreciation of life’s simple blessings without judgement. Additionally, it helps us to have increased sensitivity and focus towards our existing experiences and embrace gratitude in whatever circumstances we are in, she adds.

Experiencing all the emotions

While it sounds like a fairly simple concept where we tune everything else out and simply enjoy the moment we're in, romanticising your life might not reap the same rewards for everyone. Theresa says this is because we have to make effort to be aware that this concept may work differently for each person – what works for others may not work for us. 

“This is even more so in the digital world where we tend to fall prey to believing and comparing what we see on social media,” she shares. “When we see the gap between the idealised world and reality, we will experience dissatisfaction and disappointment. 

“In addition, the concept seems to emphasise positivity and it may result in avoiding negative emotions. To this end, it is important to acknowledge and process a full range of emotions, including challenges and difficulties, rather than suppressing them,” she adds.

There are certain types of people, though, for whom romanticising your life is especially beneficial. Theresa lists a few:

• Anyone experiencing stress and anxiety – romanticising your life can help you to concentrate on the positive aspects of life. By discovering happiness in everyday moments, it can help alleviate stress and foster a more optimistic outlook.
• Busy individuals, whether you're working adults, parents or caregivers – it helps one to simply slow down and pause, allowing them to appreciate the peace and calmness amid the hustle and bustle of life. Through slowing down, it helps to prevent burnout. 
• Individuals who are engaged in creative pursuits to fuel their creativity. Appreciating beauty, finding inspiration in everyday experiences and embracing a positive mindset can improve the creative process. 

Get started today

Romanticising your life doesn't have to be a big endeavour where you change your routine or big parts of your life. It's small, attainable things like taking a few minutes a day to read a chapter of a book or putting away your mobile phone during your morning coffee to truly savour it and get in the zone to face the day ahead. 

Do things that are authentic to you and your lifestyle, instead of, perhaps, busting your budget to go on a luxury holiday just because you saw how calming the place is in an Instagram post. It's basking in everyday things you already do, not adding yet another must-do task to your already busy life. 

If you're keen to practice romanticising your life, here are a few tips from Theresa to embrace this concept: 

1. Practice gratitude: Take a few moments in the evening and journal down at least three things you are grateful for, no matter how small they are. It could be giving thanks for beautiful weather or a kind gesture from a stranger. 

2. Explore nature: This can be a simple walk in the park near your house or simply sitting in the midst of greenery in an urban environment. Immersing yourself in nature can help to bring calmness and serenity to your well-being. 

3. Capture moments: With modern smartphones, it makes capturing the moment easy. Keep a file or journal to document these moments you have captured and take time to savour these moments. It would help you to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. 

4. Create rituals: These simple rituals should help you to experience calmness and joy. It can simply be a walk early in the morning at your favourite location or even sipping a cup of tea at a coffeeshop in the afternoon. By creating rituals, it brings structure and also highlights purpose in our lives. 

5. Be creative: Engage in creative activities that bring you joy and allow for self-expression. Whether it involves painting, writing, cooking or playing a musical instrument, engaging in creative activities can add fulfilment and appreciation to your life.