What Single's Inferno 3 taught me about the difference between girlfriend and wife material

If you've watched the second last episode of Single's Inferno 3, then you'd understand why it's the talk of the town. While the cast has about 12 members, many have their eyes fixed on one particular contestant — Lee Gwan-hee. During the episode, the professional basketball player made a controversial statement about the two girls he was interested in — namely, Cho Min-ji and Choi Hye-seon, while he was in the room with the boys discussing his experience in Paradise.

In the scene, Gwan-hee characterised Cho Min-ji more as someone suitable for a girlfriend role and recognised Choi Hye-seon as possessing the qualities indicative of a wife.

This then begs the question: What defines the notable disparity between someone who is girlfriend material and wife material, and is there any validity to these distinctions?

Violet Lim, CEO and co-founder of ‘Lunch Actually’, dissected and revealed the distinctions that we can learn from and apply in real-life scenarios. Understanding these differences helps us to distinguish between girlfriend/wife and boyfriend/husband material, a crucial aspect for achieving their future goals.

Some of the common traits include emotional maturity, loyalty traits, responsibility, emotional connections and your approach to decision-making.

1. Emotional Maturity

Understanding your partner's feelings while being comfortable in your own skin, is a key characteristic of someone considered "wife material." This means that you should not rely on your partner to fill voids in your life, yet maintain empathy and respect. When it comes to marriage, the goal is to bring two lives together without sacrificing one. Emotional availability is crucial for a successful relationship, where both partners listen and are heard.

In the context of the show, Choi Hye-Seon exemplifies emotional maturity by allowing Lee Gwan-hee the freedom to explore connections with other women. Hye-Seon displays confidence, letting Gwan Hee choose companions without pressuring him to pick her. On the other hand, Cho Min-Ji's insecurities lead to clinginess, fearing Gwan Hee's interactions with other women. While some may find Min-Ji's behaviour cute, it categorises her as "girlfriend material" as she seeks to be pampered rather than displaying the emotional maturity associated with being "wife material".

2. Loyalty Traits

At times, individuals who prioritize more superficial qualities are still in the "searching" phase, seeking physical compatibility based on factors like height and attractiveness. Typically, this phase shows how someone is boyfriend or girlfriend material as they explore these surface-level attributes, often thinking they can always find someone better.

However, true partnership is found when two people share common values and future aspirations. When these essential criteria are met, individuals tend to mature and become loyal to their partners.

In the show, Cho Min-ji is identified as girlfriend material due to her flirtatious behaviour, moving from one guy to another. Her confidence in complimenting guys creates a captivating allure, and she strategically allows both Lee Jin-Seok and Lee Gwan-hee to get closer to her at the same time.

3. Responsibility

If you're someone who typically prefers to opt for an easier path in a relationship, shirking responsibilities like avoiding problem resolution, evading uncomfortable situations, and sidestepping major arguments, you might not be ready to tie the knot just yet. In a committed relationship, both partners are expected to face and address challenges together, and any attempt to avoid responsibility jeopardises the relationship.

Beyond the general responsibilities in a relationship, financial responsibility also holds significant weight for someone aspiring to be considered wife or husband material. While it doesn't require a lot of wealth, the ability to contribute to the family's financial stability is important. Being financially prudent and responsible with spending is a key attribute for anyone seeking to be recognized as suitable for marriage.

4. Emotional Connections

It's imperative that you understand each other's love languages without imposing their one-sided preferences.

Love languages, as outlined by Dr. Gary Chapman, encompass acts of service, gift-giving, quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation. Each individual expresses love uniquely, and couples may exhibit affection in different ways. In the context of the show, Lee Gwan-hee's love language seems to be acts of service, and Hye-Seon does just that. On the contrary, Min Ji expresses her affection through her own love language, which doesn't exactly align with Gwan-hee's preferences.

5. Approach to Decision-Making

The stability of a relationship depends a lot on your leadership qualities, specifically the ability to make decisions that impact the partnership. For instance, even minor conflicts can significantly affect the trajectory of a relationship if both parties cannot find common ground on solutions that lead to substantial mutual benefits.

In the case of Gwan-hee, Hye-Seon showcases confidence in her decision-making, remaining steadfast in her choice of who she wants to accompany to Paradise. Despite her decision to spend time with different men, it reflects her true feelings for Gwan Hee and suggests her inclination to steer the connection towards a more enduring partnership. On the flipside, Gwan-hee's lack of a decisive stance indicates a reluctance to commit to a long-term relationship, raising doubts about his readiness for marriage.