Are you a silk or scrunchie mum? Here's your go-to-guide to these buzzy parenting terms

There seems to be a label or new term for anything and everything these days. In the parenting world, you’d likely have come across trending terms on Instagram like “respectful parenting“, “almond/crunchy/silky mum”, and “sittervising”. What on earth is a silky mum, among the other newfangled parenting terms? Some of them aren’t exactly new but have recently resurfaced and gone viral on the likes of TikTok. Here’s a guide.

Almond mum

What it means: A mum who’s into dieting and body image, and who has (and is likely to push her children to have) some form of eating restriction.

Where it originated: You can thank Yolanda Hadid, former model, and mother of models Gigi and Bella Hadid, for the term “almond mum”. In a 2003 episode of American reality TV The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, the then-teenage Gigi called her mother to tell her she was feeling faint after eating only half an almond. Yolanda’s response? She advised the 17-year-old to up it to “a couple of almonds and chew them really well”.

Silky mum

What it means: The “silky” mum or parent tends to gravitate towards advances in science, Western medicine, and modern conveniences like technology to aid in their parenting, or embrace screen time as a parenting tool. Basically, they’re the modern mums who are likely to choose disposable diapers, use convenience meals, or have their kids vaccinated on schedule.

Where it originated: The term was invented in response to “crunchy” parenting, which is a lifestyle where parents choose to use only natural and organic products.

Crunchy mum

What it means: A “crunchy mum” describes a parenting style that emphasises natural and holistic approaches when it comes to child-rearing.

Where it originated: The term “crunchy” is derived from the idea of being environmentally conscious and choosing natural, organic, and sustainable options. Crunchy mums often prioritise natural birth, breastfeeding, babywearing, cloth diapering, and organic food choices for their children. They also typically embrace alternative or holistic wellness.

Scrunchie mum

What it means: No, it doesn’t mean a mum who’s always wearing a messy topknot! Scrunchie mums dip their toes into both worlds and choose what works best for them. For instance, they might opt for natural cloth diapers but also approve of vaccinating their kids early.

Where it originated: A “scrunchie mum” falls right in between a silky and crunchy mum, and is a portmanteau of the two.

Respectful parenting

What it means: Respectful parenting is just as its name suggests — it embraces the notion of mutual respect in a parent-child relationship. According to respectful parenting coach Kelly Tay of Juicy Parenting, it’s about allowing children to express their emotions so they learn how to process difficult feelings and events, and trusting that they are innately good and willing, and able to work with their parents or caregivers. Read more about it here.

Where it originated: Believe it or not, the term is older than some of us. It comes from an approach that gained popularity in 1978 that emphasises parents and caregivers should be “educarers” who respect even the youngest of babies. Thanks to social media, it’s resurfaced recently.

Mindful parenting

What it means: It’s about being fully present and engaged in the moment with your children, without judgment or distraction. It encourages parents to slow down, tune in, and savour precious moments with their young ones, and involves actively listening, observing, and accepting their experiences and emotions without trying to change or control them.

Where it originated: This is another approach that’s been around for a while — since 1997, in fact. Since then, research has found that mindful parenting does indeed have a positive impact on children’s behaviour. More specifically, children with mindful mothers were more willing to engage in sharing with others.

Trauma-informed parenting

What it means: Trauma-informed parenting or trauma-informed care recognises and addresses the impact of trauma on children’s lives and emphasises sensitivity, understanding, and support. A trauma-informed parent is aware that certain behaviours or reactions may stem from past traumatic experiences, and they respond with empathy and patience. They’re encouraged to be curious and seek to understand rather than jump to conclusions or punish.

Where it originated: We’re not sure where exactly it came from, but there are plenty of resources for parents, particularly foster or adoptive parents.

Baby-led weaning

What it means: Baby-led weaning is somewhat a fancy term for self-feeding, an approach that encourages babies to feed themselves from the start of their solid food journey, rather than relying on spoon-feeding purees. It allows the baby to explore and control their eating experiences.

Where it originated: The term was coined in 2008 as a method of allowing babies to explore the different tastes and textures of food on their own, developing fine motor skills and a sense of independence along the way.

Default parent

What it means: As the term suggests, a default parent is one who takes on all or most of the parenting tasks, from filling out school consent forms to managing household takes and providing emotional and physical support. And — no surprises here — the term generally refers to mothers.

Where it originated: It’s not a new concept but the term has been floating around TikTok, with more mums opening up about the burnout they’re experiencing as the go-to person for all kid-related logistics and home-related tasks.

Married single mum

What it means: The term “married single mum” goes a step further than the “default parent” and is a  contradictory (and some say contentious) phrase that describes a married woman who feels like she is primarily responsible for most, if not all of the parenting duties, very much like a single parent. This includes childcare, household tasks, and decision-making that’s related to parenting, despite having a spouse or partner.

Where it originated: We have social media to thank for this term, courtesy of all the frustrated mums out there. However, we shouldn’t confuse this with the more commonly-used term “solo parenting”, which is usually used to describe a temporary situation where one parent has childcare duties for a short duration while the other parent is away.

Sittervising

What it means: Another portmanteau, which blends the words sitting and supervising, the concept is pretty self-explanatory, and in fact, you might already be employing it. The trend encourages parents to sit down and supervise their children from a safe distance, instead of always engaging in play or hovering over them.

Where it originated: Coined by Susan Allison, M. Ed, founder of the Busy Toddler Instagram account, it is supposed to help take some of the pressure off parents, while allowing children to learn how to navigate self-regulation in a safe environment.

Updated by The Singapore Women’s Weekly on 8 November 2023.