Family and parenting: Hello Mummy, what are you doing?

Your kids love calling you at work but your boss sends daggers your way when you keep answering their calls.

But taking personal calls at work is tricky. It may also make you look slack and unprofessional, especially when they take up precious work time or happen at crucial moments.

Rejecting your kid’s call is a major no-no but if you’re too busy at work,
how should Singapore mums deal with their frequent calls? Image: Corbis

It's a scenario faced by the Singapore working mums that we spoke to. A teacher and mum to two sons, Jessica Lin, 35, admits that she feels guilty each time she rejects or ignores her son's call; she feels as if she's telling him that “Mummy's work is more important”.

Yet you can't always be there for your kids. PR director Lu Minru, 39, deals with it by referring her boys to their grandma or helper when they have a problem.

So how do you strike a balance between meeting your child's needs and keeping a professional image at work? Find out why your child keeps calling and react accordingly. We share seven tips on how to handle your child's frequent phone calls:

1. NEVER REJECT YOUR CHILD’S CALL
Children today are tech-savvy, and he'll know it's a deliberate action.

2. SHOW APPRECIATION FOR HIS EFFORTS
Your child may be looking for approval when he calls to report what's happening at home. But do tell him gently to call you for important things only – and define what's considered important.

3. SPARE YOUR CHILD A FEW MINUTES OF YOUR TIME IF YOU CAN
Lawyer Janet, 44, says that she would answer her son's quick questions. If she doesn't have the time when he just wants to talk, she will tell him specifically what she's doing to let him understand why she can't stay on the phone.

4. MAKE HIM LESS DEPENDENT ON YOU
It's fine if there's a real need for him to call. But in the long run, he may get used to being gratified instantly. Break him out of this habit slowly. Arrange to call your child back at a specific time but make sure that you do keep your promise.

If you're really busy, tell him that he has to wait till you get home to talk to him. In this situation, marketing adminstrator Noor Aisha, 30, would say: “I can't talk now, but I'll definitely talk to you when I get home”.

6. MAKE IT EASIER FOR THEM TO HANG UP
Create an instructional-style game. For instance, you could say: “I'll put the phone done now, so can you do the same? We'll both hang up on the count of three”.

7. BE MORE ATTENTIVE DURING YOUR TIME TOGETHER
If he always needs to have you around, he has formed an insecure attachment with you. Other caretakers cannot replace the attention and love that a mother can give. Only a mother figure can truly fulfil a child's emotional needs.

Spend more time with him and make sure you really communicate when you're together. Listen to him, show an interest in what he's doing and interact with him, instead of giving task-oriented directives. This will make him feel more secure about himself.

This article was originally published in SimplyHer October 2010.