Ask The Expert: Is couple’s therapy for you... or nah?

Couple’s therapy is often framed as a last resort – something sought only after trust fractures or arguments spiral beyond repair. Yet many of the couples I work with are not in crisis at all. They come in because something isn’t quite working: Conversations feel too charged to begin, the same misunderstandings repeat themselves, or emotional closeness no longer feels the way it used to.

What couple’s therapy actually is

Couple’s therapy is a structured, evidence-based form of support that brings clarity when familiar ways of communicating stop being effective. Under emotional strain, couples often slip into predictable patterns – one partner pulling back, the other pushing forward – without resolution.

A couple’s therapist is not there to arbitrate or prescribe solutions, but to create a space where both partners can speak honestly and feel heard. Therapy does not replace conversation; it reshapes it, supporting clearer communication, emotional regulation, and repair.

Beyond infidelity or overt conflict, couple’s therapy also supports both parties navigating emotional distance, repeated misunderstandings, or differences in communication styles and emotional needs. Everyday pressures – work demands, parenting, health concerns or major life transitions – can strain even the most stable of relationships. Addressing these stressors early helps prevent frustration or resentment from taking hold.

Common misconceptions that hold couples back

One of the most common reasons couples delay therapy is the fear that seeking help means the relationship has failed, or that a therapist will assign blame, take sides, or push them towards separation.

Ethical couple’s therapy is neutral and non-judgemental. Its purpose is not to decide the future of a relationship, but to help the pair improve understanding and communication, so they can make informed decisions together.

Navigating couple’s therapy

Couple’s therapy works best when both partners share at least an agreement to try. Pressuring a reluctant partner often increases defensiveness and strain. When one partner is not ready, individual therapy can be a helpful starting point. This allows the willing partner to clarify their needs, manage their emotions, and raise the idea of couple’s therapy in a way that feels safer and less confrontational. Hesitation is often rooted in fear of conflict or uncertainty about the process, rather than lack of care.

Couple’s therapists do not direct the pair towards staying together or separating. Conversations about separation or divorce may arise if one or both partners are already considering it, or if staying together involves ongoing harm or emotional distress. These discussions are handled with care, with the focus on dignity, understanding and informed choice.

Cost and accessible options in Singapore

In Singapore, private couple’s therapy typically costs between $150 and $250+ per hour, with higher fees for senior or specialised therapists, and longer sessions often recommended. There is no fixed number of sessions required – some couples notice early shifts within a few sessions, while long-standing issues take longer.

For those concerned about affordability, support is available through Family Service Centres, MSF-funded programmes, community organisations such as Care Corner Singapore, Singapore Counselling Centre, Fei Yue Community Services, PPIS, Touch Community Services, Allkin Singapore, and supervised training clinics.

While subsidised options may involve waiting times or shorter sessions, they can still be meaningful and effective.

Dr Annabelle Chow is Annabelle Psychology’s founder and principal clinical psychologist. She has worked across hospital, clinical and community settings in Australia and Singapore, and supports individuals and couples navigating complex emotional and relational challenges, among other areas of clinical practice.