Dear Therapist: I feel healed after years of PTSD and depression. But now what?

Got a personal dilemma that’s stressing you out? In Dear Therapist, trauma expert Natalia Rachel untangles your knottiest issues and answers your burning questions about life, love, and everything in between. If you have a question, you can email us at magherworld@sph.com.sg or slide into our DMs at @herworldsingapore on Instagram.

Dear Therapist,

Thank you for your great work. Here is my question: What should you pay attention to after the end of therapy? What happens next if everything is good?

I have suffered from PTSD and depression throughout my life. Then I finally found the right therapist and trauma-sensitive yoga for myself. After two years of hard work, I am symptom-free. I feel tidy inside, peaceful and deeply connected to myself and the world.

Since this state is completely new for me, I am afraid of losing it again. I also lack a goal in mind. All these years I have worked hard for my mental health, but what now?

From, Deeply Connected

Dear Deeply Connected,

Firstly, I am so happy that you have found this new place of peace after all the healing work you have done. It truly feels like there is safety inside and around you; a beautiful place to exist from.

It’s common in our early healing journey, that we create a cocoon-like environment for healing to happen. We create the conditions and dynamics that support our healing and say no to anything and anyone else. This sacred haven becomes the womb for a more peaceful, resilient, and vital version of ourselves.

Once we are feelings more grounded, balanced, and free from the past, we may arrive at a point, where we again feel like all isn’t as it should be. There’s nothing specifically wrong, we are not the ‘hot mess’ we used to be, but perhaps we are feeling, disconnected, bored, lonely, or simply like there’s meant to be something more… but what?

This is often a sign that it is time to leave the cocoon, expand our world, tap into our courage and creativity. This is about risk, vulnerability, and the deliciousness of the unknown next self.

When we heal from trauma, we tend to want to remove the risk of being triggered, harmed, or ending up back in an old familiar black hole. The thing is, the protective cocoon we create for ourselves, can become a bit of a cage when we don’t need it anymore.

The next stage of healing is about venturing out into the world and taking our expanded capacity for a test drive. This may mean meeting new people, trying a new activity, taking up a new hobby, looking for a new job, or taking a trip to a new place. All of these unfamiliar things may seem to threaten our newfound stability and peace… however they are also where the opportunity to continue to expand evolve and grow lie. Ask yourself, what is something that takes me out of my comfort zone? Something that’d I’d like to do but feels a little bit risky.

Finding the sweet spot between safety and risk, routine and spontaneity is a beautiful process and allows us to learn to dance with the world. It is here that we begin to trust ourselves in the deepest way and open ourselves to the magic that is waiting for us in new and unexpected places.

During this next phase of the journey, we may revisit old triggers or wounds, with a compassionate and wise witness. Here rather than little children seeking healing, we welcome our inner elder to guide us with grace.

Wishing you courage, compassion and play as you walk with grace towards what’s next.

Natalia Rachel

Disclaimer: The Dear Therapist column is for informational purposes only. The advice given does not constitute medical advice, and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician, mental-health professional, or other qualified health providers with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition, and never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.