Reclaiming my Singaporean identity after living abroad for over 20 years

Growing up in Singapore, scenes of home – our banana and coconut trees, the spice-laden, umami-rich foods – were absent from the books I read. In those stories, the protagonists wore smart winter coats, celebrated snowy Christmases by the fire, and navigated fluffy snowdrifts – things a Singaporean child couldn’t relate to.

In 2002, I set off to pursue a PhD in comparative literature in the US, where I finally donned the winter coats, experienced wintry Christmases, and trudged through snowdrifts. Like many Singaporeans overseas, I spent most of my life abroad chasing success. I was the first in my cohort to complete my PhD, held fellowships at Duke University and the University of Pennsylvania, and became a tenured professor – a rare and challenging achievement for an immigrant. Despite these successes, I never truly felt at home.

The cultural differences were challenging for both my mind and body. When I moved to the US, my skin, once oily, became dry, reactive and acne-prone. At the time, skincare options for Asians were scarce, unless you went to Koreatown or Chinatown. 

Even everyday interactions were challenging: My Singaporean accent was not easily understood, and I had to adopt an American accent. I felt alienated in American grocery stores, where Asian foods were relegated to a tiny section. Yet, since I left Singapore, I’ve rarely been back.

Returning home

This year, I visited Singapore again, and for the first time, it felt as though life returned to me.

I realised I had missed the heaviness of Singapore’s air, and the golden afternoons spent in the HDB void deck, feeling the breeze while listening to children play. Suddenly, I could speak Singlish again. The foods I love weren’t relegated to an “ethnic” section, but were in every grocery store. And I was treated like I belonged.

I wanted to change the messaging of my childhood from “worthwhile people go elsewhere” to “Singapore is worth returning to”, and for me to bring all the success I’ve had living elsewhere back to Singapore.

While living in the US, I began formulating my own skincare products to address my skin issues. During an academic sabbatical in 2015, I experimented with creating highly concentrated skincare, and my skin transformed – from reactive, irritated and acneprone to clear and glowing.

The response to my products was so positive that I quit my tenured position to run my business fulltime in 2016. Since then, Sabbatical Beauty has been featured in Elle, Popsugar, Slate and more. Now, I want to bring Sabbatical Beauty to women in Singapore and witness their positive skin transformations. Connecting with my customers while based here feels more meaningful, as though I’m making a greater impact.

Because life doesn’t truly begin when we live elsewhere; it begins when we finally return home.