I didn’t think I needed ChatGPT until I panicked without it

When ChatGPT was first released to the public a few years ago, I was vehemently opposed. As someone who takes pride in my ability to write on demand, craft poems spontaneously, and compose thoughtful messages for others, I saw AI tools like ChatGPT as a cop-out. I vividly remember sitting at a restaurant with two friends, debating how I would never use ChatGPT to preserve my writing skills. At that moment, I believed my resolve was strong, and I held a sense of pride in maintaining my creativity without shortcuts. Looking back, those feelings now seem a bit egotistical.

As a bit of a technological dinosaur, I have to admit I dislike some aspects of modern tech. I’m not a fan of Google Home, I still struggle to record shows on TV, and I often get lost trying to find my favorite programs online. That said, I recognize the incredible benefits technology brings - keeping us connected across the globe, providing instant access to information, and supporting economic and personal growth. Historically, tech innovation has paved the way for progress, and I understand its importance.

When ChatGPT started to infiltrate our daily routines, I felt compelled to give it a try. I used it for simple tasks like holiday suggestions or gathering information about organizations I was working with or to idea generate. The quick, efficient responses made my life easier and boosted my productivity. I couldn’t deny it, if a tool could make me more efficient, I was all for it. As I incorporated ChatGPT more and more, I noticed how much I was accomplishing. And gradually, somewhat guiltily, I realized I was relying on it more than I intended. I pushed that uncomfortable thought deep into my mind and continued using it whenever necessary.

A few days ago, while working in Hong Kong, I opened ChatGPT to get some information. To my horror, I found that the site wouldn’t load on my laptop. My immediate panic was startling - I felt I couldn’t complete my task without it. That wave of dependency hit me hard. I had forgotten that my own mind was more capable than I often gave it credit for. The ease and efficiency of AI had quickly become a crutch, making me less inclined to use my own mental muscles. It was an eye-opener and a stark reminder of how easily we can fall into dependency.

Part of me feels guilty about this reliance; part of me questions AI’s place in our future; and yet, another part believes that AI can help us learn and grow just as past innovations have done. But as someone nearing mid-40s, I want to keep my mind sharp, creative, and active. I don’t want a part of my brain to fade away or become obsolete. So, like breaking any addiction, I’ve started to step back from ChatGPT, giving myself space to think independently and ensuring that my natural creativity remains intact.

This has been my personal journey, a balance between embracing the usefulness of AI and protecting the unique human ability to think, imagine, and create. It’s a process of learning, adjusting, and sometimes reassessing how much of a good thing we really need.

Shireena Shroff Manchharam is a Her World Tribe member, the founder and principal consultant of Sheens Image Consulting, and the founder and creator of Getting To Happy, a mental health movement to inspire our community and society to live happier, more mindful lives.