Father’s Day: This father-daughter duo strengthened their relationship by working together
Besides working together, father and daughter also spend time together indulging in their shared love for older vintage cars, particularly Jaguars
By Cheryl Lai-Lim -
“As a child, my dad taught me how to ride a bike; as an adult he taught me how to be a leader. He isn't just my father – he’s a friend and mentor to me as well,” says Nicole Kow.
There's no denying the bond between a father and his daughter is a special one. For Nicole and her father, Brian, working together has made their bond all the more special. Nicole is the marketing manager at Nic & Wes Builders, her father’s design-and-build firm in Singapore. Brian chose the name for the company as an homage to Nicole and her brother, Wesley.
For Brian, working together with his daughter has been a harmonious collaboration. He reveals that there’s not much difference to being Nicole’s father and company’s head – only that “with the former, it’s a little more heart and the latter, more logic”. “We look at things with a similar perspective, although her strengths definitely lie in the details,” he explains.
The bond between father and daughter extends beyond the workplace. Together, they engage in distinctive hobbies, such as biking with their dogs and indulging in their mutual passion for vintage cars, particularly Jaguars.
“I used to tinker with my cars in my younger days, and five-year-old Nicole would often squat patiently by my side and wait to assist me,” reminisces Brian, “she would also persistently tell me – in a very convincing tone – “I can, Dada! I can!”. This [memory] still lives on right up till today.”
Brian with Nicole when she was younger
For Nicole, her father has had a lasting influence on her hobbies and interests. “He’s never discouraged any of my hobbies and has been extremely supportive – both my parents have. When I wanted to turn my passion project in creating pet accessories into a side hustle on top of my work in the family business, he encouraged me to give it a go,” she shares.
This Father’s Day, the father-daughter duo plan to celebrate the occasion how they usually would: spending time together with family. “My dad’s down-to-earth nature prefers the company of his family, even if it’s just having a sit together for a meal or a drive. It’s simple yet meaningful, so these are days that we drop everything to spend it with him,” says Nicole.
Here, we find out more from father and daughter about their bond, how they navigate differences, and advice they have for other father-daughters who are looking to strengthen their relationship.
Brian: Her number one quality is her warm and caring personality, as well as her ability to empathise. Her honesty, ability to speak truthfully, and strong wilful determination are also top qualities.
Nicole: His optimism and humanity. My dad always sees the positivity in a situation and has a way of keeping calm. He also tends to put others first instead of himself. He is altruistic and does his best to do what is right.
I understand that you both share unique hobbies together, such as taking your dogs on bicycle rides and indulging in a shared love for older vintage cars, particularly Jaguars. Tell us a little more about these hobbies and how they came about.
Nicole: The cycling part was definitely my dad’s influence. He began cycling to keep fit. He knows that I’m more of an indoor than outdoor person but I’m highly motivated to join in if my dogs are part of that equation. They love being outdoors and these are just fun ways to spend time with them.
As for cars, it is partly my dad’s love for Jaguars which was also influenced by his dad. But the vintage cars also stem from my love of history and the art, design and architecture of the past. The 1920s are one of my favourite eras and I just love how vintage cars have a distinct character and charm on the roads. Vintage cars, especially on today’s roads, are like seeing a piece of the past in the present. They are just unique and visually eye-catching.
Brian: It's as good as it can get. I think when [the universe was] putting her together, they chose only all our good traits and compiled them together. Like she jokingly says, she is our version 2.0.
How do you both navigate and embrace the differences in your perspectives, personalities, and interests to maintain a harmonious relationship?
Nicole: I think something I appreciate when we communicate is that we don’t have to agree on everything but we can still see it in each other’s perspectives. And that makes it easier to communicate because differences in ideas provide a more well-rounded view to make a more informed decision.
Brian: We are both empathetic. It’s alright to have a difference in opinions, but most importantly, we let logic take precedence in the decision making process.
What advice would you give to other fathers and daughters who are looking to build strong, positive relationships with each other?
Nicole: Communication and spending quality time builds a bond overtime, and it helps when it’s over common interests. As an adult, I don’t view my father as an authoritarian figure but a friend who I can joke with, bounce ideas off of, ask for advice and even give advice.
Brian: Find a common ground. These are mottos I'd advise as well:
Less Father - More Friend (You communicate better as they mature)
Less Nag - More Advice (It’s about her and less about you)
Let them fall - Just be there to catch them (We learn more through experience. You have a lot more experience)
Love her Mother - You are the Father (Parental relationship is the first love a child experiences. Let it be built on a good foundation)