Work Therapy: How to respond to a rude and disgruntled client

Do you have a professional dilemma that’s worrying you? In Work Therapy, founder of Threshold Allies Karen Tay helps working professionals navigate sticky situations. If you have a question for Karen, you can email us at magherworld@sph.com.sg or slide into our DMs at @herworldsingapore on Instagram.

Dear Karen,

I’m the Founder and CEO of a design company, serving clients Asia-wide. In a meeting with the client company’s CEO over a major project, he asked why a certain design he liked was not part of the proposal. When my team explained the technical and safety challenges, he raised his voice and accused us of being “incompetent”. This took place in front of his entire chain of command, who had approved the plans before. Everyone remained silent. 

I felt terrible that I didn't defend the team in the moment. Frankly, I was reeling in shock at his response. How do I address this with my team and the clients going forward?  

Dear Founder and CEO,

Thank you for sharing this challenging situation you faced. First and foremost, I'd like to extend my empathy towards you. Moments like these can be incredibly tough, especially when confronted with unexpected aggression from a client's CEO.

Your feelings of regret about not defending your team in the moment are understandable, but it's important to recognize that such situations can catch anyone off-guard. Your reaction was a natural response to an unexpected and unprofessional outburst.

Moving forward, here's a suggested approach to address the issue with your team and clients:

Address the issue directly with your team

Start by acknowledging the incident and its impact on everyone involved. Express your disappointment in the CEO's behavior and assure your team that you stand by them. Encourage open discussion about how they felt during the encounter and listen attentively to their perspectives.

Focus on moving forward

Redirect the team's attention towards the outcomes you want. In 3 months, where would you like your company’s relationship to the client to be? Do you want to keep pursuing the contract? Is it important to convey your expectation that your team is treated respectfully in the future?

Once you are clear on your desired outcomes, you can pursue constructive actions. This might look like: 

• Seeking clarification on expectations with the client 
• Scheduling a follow-up meeting with the client (not necessarily the CEO) to address the incident calmly and assertively
• Finding alternative solutions to the technical challenges raised 
  

Despite the CEO's behavior, it's essential to maintain professionalism and uphold the integrity of your company. 

Intentionally grow from the experience:

Finally, use this incident as an opportunity for growth and learning. While it was tough this round, you can train yourself to respond coolly, calmly and firmly the next time something like this happens. 

For example, some of my clients frequently navigate conflict. When tensions get high, they build in a practice of deep breathing and responding with a default line, such as “I notice tensions are getting high. Let’s take a pause.” 

They then focus the group back on shared goals, and move the conversation forward. “We are all here to align on the design proposal, and we all care very much about the quality and safety of the design. Why don’t we spend some time understanding each other’s point of view before we jump back into the details of the proposal.” 

Practicing a few default responses can help you insert “circuit breakers” when tensions are escalating. 

Remember, leadership is a journey of continuous improvement, and encountering challenges like these is part of the process. Stay resilient, and don't hesitate to seek support from mentors, peers, or professional coaches as you navigate through this experience.

Wishing you strength and success in your leadership journey.

Warm regards,

Karen 

Karen Tay has held senior leadership and advisory roles in the Singapore Government, and start-ups in the US and Asia. She currently runs Threshold Allies and Her Life Ally, where she supports Silicon Valley and Singaporean leaders in navigating high stakes situations and transitions. Contact her at karen@threshold-allies.com.