Why Singapore’s office jargon culture is so cringe (and how to deal with it)

It’s 9am on a Monday. My kopi is still too hot to drink, but the Teams notification is already blinking like a disco ball. “Let’s touch base at 9.30am,” my boss messages. I sigh. Here we go again — the weekly Hunger Games of corporate jargon.

The lingo olympics

Forget tigers in Singapore’s concrete jungle; the true predators in our offices are the endless streams of corporate buzzwords that make you question if you’re in a meeting or a secret society initiation.

“Synergise”, “low-hanging fruit”, “deep dive” — all buzzwords you’ve definitely heard if you’ve spent even one day working in corporate.

As a freelance writer these days, I get to work in pyjamas and I don’t have any Zoom meetings. Life is blissfully jargon-free — well, almost. Every time I hear someone say “circle back” or “touch base,” I get mild PTSD and wonder if I should start a support group for ex-corporate survivors.

But not too long ago, I was deep in the trenches of corporate office life, a reluctant contestant in Singapore’s Lingo Olympics. Here’s my play-by-play of the most cringeworthy corporate phrases I’ve heard people say — complete with translations for the uninitiated: 

1. “Low-hanging fruit” and other exotic delicacies

Translation: Do the easiest tasks first — quick wins, minimal effort.

“Let’s focus on the low-hanging fruit,” my boss says, eyes shining with the wisdom of a thousand TED Talks. 

I look around. The only fruit I see is the sad orange given by HR on my desk on Chinese New Year. But I went with the flow, pretending I, too, am ready to pluck whatever metaphorical fruit is dangling in front of us.

2. “Let’s take this offline” (aka “catch me outside, how bout dat”)

Translation: I’ll arrow you later, but privately, away from the group. 

Just when you think you’ve survived a meeting, someone asks a dumb question, and the boss drops, “Let’s take this offline.” It’s the corporate version of “See me after class.”

3. “Circle back” and “Touch base”

Translation: Let’s revisit this topic later.

“We’ll circle back on this,” my boss declares. I said “okay”, knowing we’ll circle so many times, we’ll end up dizzy and still nowhere close to a solution. 

“Can we touch base later on x topic later?” a colleague adds on. 

Translation: Let’s have a quick chat or check-in. But don’t actually touch my base, can?

4. “Please revert” and “Do the needful” 

Translation: Please do what is necessary and reply as soon as possible.

“Please revert with the needful ASAP,” someone emails.

This is the ultimate power combo of local office-speak — guaranteed to make any grammar nerd’s eye twitch.

Is “please revert” correct English? Technically, no.

Revert to what? Am I supposed to time-travel? The correct phrase should be “please reply” or “please respond. I stare at my screen, torn between “reverting” or quitting on the spot. 

It’s much clearer to say: “Please reply and take the necessary action as soon as possible.”

5. “Synergise efforts”

Translation: Let’s work together for better results, aka teamwork.

Whenever someone (usually the boss) talks about synergising our efforts, I often imagine the team’s energies fusing like Power Rangers. Instead, we just end up in another meeting that could have been an email.

6. “Deep dive”

Translation: Let’s examine this unimportant issue in excessive detail. 

“We need to do a deep dive.” 

Next thing I know, I’m drowning in spreadsheets, data, and more research. No lifeguard, only more action items.

7. “All hands on deck” 

Translation: Everyone needs to help out — no slackers allowed.

“It’s all hands on deck!” HR shouts. Suddenly, even the intern’s kopi break is cancelled. I look around and realise it’s just me, my laptop, and a rapidly cooling cup of kopi. If this is a ship, I think we’re sinking.

8. “We need more touchpoints”

Translation: More chances for clients to interact with the brand.

“We need more touchpoints with clients.” Your boss says. And no, it’s not actual touching.

What the boss really means: They want the brand to be everywhere the client turns — e-mails, social media, events, even your company logo on a free tote bag at a roadshow. The goal? To make sure people remember us, feel a connection, and (hopefully) keep buying or coming back. 

More touchpoints = more opportunities to build loyalty, push our message, and gently remind everyone we exist (and have KPIs to hit, lah).

9. “Let’s leverage our existing resources”

Translation: Make the most of what we already have (and don’t even think about asking for more people or budget).

“Let’s leverage our existing resources,” my manager announces, as if we’re sitting on a secret stash of untapped talent and gold bars. Actually, I think that the only thing we’re not leveraging is the office pantry, which remains tragically understocked. I also wonder if I can leverage my annual leave to escape.

10. “Let’s set a regular cadence for our meetings”

Translation: Let’s set a regular schedule for check-ins (because ‘schedule’ just isn’t professional enough).

I Google “cadence,” hoping for something profound. Turns out it’s just a fancy way to say “let’s have meetings until we all lose the will to live”. 

11. “Paradigm shift”

Translation: We’re changing everything. Again.

“This is a real paradigm shift,” upper management declares, looking very pleased with themselves. I nod, pretending to understand, but deep down, I’m still stuck in the old paradigm of “just get things done and go home”. 

12. “Growth mindset”

Translation: Be open to learning and improvement — even when nobody actually cares.

I hate love how my ex-boss used to say “we need a growth mindset”, as if it would change anything…

Well, I tried to “grow my mindset”, but all I get is a migraine and the sudden urge to try my luck at 4D/Toto. At this rate, if my mindset expands any further, HR will need to book me a conference room just for my thoughts.

13. “Bandwidth”

Translation: Do you have enough time, energy, or mental capacity to take on even more work? (but with the same pay)

“Do you have the bandwidth for this?” my boss asks, with that hopeful glint in their eye — the same one you see when someone’s eyeing the last curry puff at the pantry (true story). 

My actual human bandwidth is running on one bar, but I can’t say no, right? This is Singapore, where “can” is the default answer, even when your brain is basically on low power mode. So I nod, accept the extra work, and pray my kopi kicks in before I crash and burn.

14. “Push the envelope”

Translation: Try something bold, take risks, or go beyond the usual limits.

“Let’s push the envelope.” I look for an envelope to push. Can’t find one, so I push my luck and ask if we can end early. Spoiler: We did not end early. The only thing getting pushed is my patience.

15. “We’re a family here” (The final boss)

Translation: We expect you to dedicate your life, soul, and probably your weekends to the company.

When a company says, “We’re a family here,” what they really want is the kind of blind devotion you’d give your actual family: drop everything when they need you, work late, come in on weekends, and never ask for anything in return. 

The unspoken rule? You’re not supposed to value your own needs or leave for a “better family” just because someone else is offering more.

But here’s the catch: companies will never actually treat you like family. If you get sick, need support, or just can’t keep up, you won’t get unconditional love — you’ll get a warning letter, a pay cut, or get fired. If the company’s not making enough money, they won’t “stick together” — they’ll start laying people off. 

So the next time someone says, “We’re a family here,” remember: it’s just a line to make you give more than you’re paid for. TLDR: Get the hell out while you still can.