How to say "This Isn't My Job" in an HR-approved way

Get advice from a human resource director and freelance career coach on how to ace your corporate speak – no matter how spicy it may be.

By Aaron Kok - 6 Jun 2023

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Picture this: Your colleague does something so bafflingly silly, and you're in the midst of writing an angry email when you realise that (1) your colleague is actually your boss and (2) you need your salary for Starbucks and avocado toasts, so you take a deeeeep sigh, and vent your anger on the backspace button in an attempt to sound a little bit less angst-ridden.

Or maybe you've done the math and based on your experience and skill set, you're only getting about half of what you truly deserve in terms of salary. How do you go about asking for more money, without possibly pissing off your superiors?

Look, at one point or another on your corporate career, you're going to find yourself stuck in a situation that requires some delicate handling no matter how aggrieved you may feel. We get some profesh help from Ying Low, a human resources director and freelance career coach with 20 years of experience to show us how we can properly phrase our angriest and spiciest corporate liners.

Instead of saying: This is not my job...

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...try saying this:"I would love to help, but I don’t feel competent enough to take this on right now" or"I'd like to help but I don't have the capacity right now."

"No matter how similar your roles may be, there are always some things that we just aren't knowledgeable enough to take on," Low says. "And we shouldn't be afraid to admit it. Even if we do have the knowledge, your priority is to your own role firstly, so informing your colleague that don't have the availability to help them with something is fair to yourself too. Importantly, start with a positive statement like 'I would love to help', so it helps you appear more cordial."

Instead of saying: This meeting could've been an email...

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...try saying this: "I'd like to find out more about the objective/ agenda of this meeting, so that I can be mindful of how I can add value."

Low advises that any time you get a meeting invite, always ask for an agenda as this helps keep everyone on the same page and focused on a set list of topics to discuss. Based on their response, you can then figure out if you're actually needed.

If you feel that you cannot contribute effectively to the discussion, feel free to reject the meeting with a simple note. For example, you can then reply with something like "Based on this meeting's agenda, I am unable to value-add to the topics and would look forward to catching up on the discussion in the meeting's recap".

Instead of saying: Maybe go ask Google instead of me?

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...try saying this: "I'm not totally familiar with what you're asking, would you mind looking it up and filling me in after?"

Ah, the neverending situation of having colleagues ask you questions that you may or may not know, instead of just typing it into Google.

Low recommends exercising discretion here: determine if the asker is truly unsure or just too lazy to find out the answer for themself. "You don't want to appear unhelpful, but at the same time, admitting that you're not the best source of information and that there are online guides offering more comprehensive advice is usually a safe bet," she says.

Instead of saying: I will not be working overtime...

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...try saying this: "Unfortunately, I am unable to put in extra hours as I have a personal commitment on this date after office hours end. However, if you're able to send it over to me in an email, I can look into it tomorrow when I'm back in the office."

In this way, Low recommends that rather than cutting off a person who is requesting that you work beyond office hours, let them know that you're still available to help as long as it's within the next working day. This way, they know you're still supporting them without you having to crunch the extra hours.

Instead of saying: I hate this job, and I quit...

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...try saying this: "I am thankful for the chance to hone my skills here, but after much thought, I've decided that I'd like to explore new career opportunities."

No matter how much you detest your workplace, it's always a good idea to leave on a cordial note, Low advises. "Since you're already planning to go, it wouldn't hurt you to keep your tone cordial," she tells us. "Tender your resignation without burning that bridge, because you never know if you'll need it one day."

Instead of saying: I feel like I am very underpaid.

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...try saying this: "At present, my salary is $_____. I've done some research, and based on my experience and skills in this line of work, I would be comfortable earning between $_____ and $_____. At your earliest convenience, I'd like the opportunity to be able to review my salary with you."

Firstly, Low says coming prepared is important, as you have to be able to back up your expected salary ask with proper homework. Here's the caveat though: Low admits this isn't a one-size-fits-all statement in asking for a pay bump. While this works for her – "I appreciate when employees are direct and come prepared," she admits – only you would know how your boss would react. If your superior is a little bit more sensitive or conservative towards salary-related conversations, coming with a softer approach might be the best way.

Instead of saying: You're a terrible boss...

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...try saying this: "Something has been on my mind from our previous conversation. When you get a free moment, would it be okay with you if we had a private one-to-one meeting so that I can share with you how it made me feel? I believe honesty is important for us to maintain a strong relationship."

This can be used for your superior or even a difficult colleague. Importantly, don't go into this conversation hot-headed or unprepared. Low advises that one should always maintain a calm and steady temperament, as these difficult conversations will require a greater level of sensitivity. Secondly, ensure you have specific examples in mind when speaking to your peer or boss, rather than just painting a broad picture of your unhappiness with their behaviour. In being able to give them specific instances where you feel disrespected, you are then able to have a more fruitful discussion on how to move forward.