So your best friend rings you up at midnight to tell you her man dumped her out of the blue and he’s already seeing someone new (how dare he!). Okay, fine, while it’s not always quite as dramatic, all of us have had a friend crying on your shoulder while she rants about her ex, telling you she’ll never find love again, threatening to swear off men for good…heck, you’ve probably said the same things yourself. Here are five pointers to consider so as to nudge her towards the light.
Make Plans for Her
She’s probably going to want to spend a few weeks moping around the house, so why not take her out and have some fun instead? Whether it’s a rowdy road trip to Johor Bahru, high tea at a boutique hotel or a weekend shopping spree – hey, you should know what makes her happy – get to work planning things that will help her forget him. Going out and carrying on with life will give her something to look forward to so she’ll (hopefully) stop thinking of the past.
You don’t have to go all the way down Sycophant Street and pile on empty praise, but try dropping plenty of positive comments to remind her that she is an amazing person, even and especially without a man. It will give her the strength to move on and boost her confidence, too.
Sometimes, all we need from a friend is a listening ear. So let her rant and tell her you understand what she’s going through and that you’re there for her. Allow her to grieve the end of the relationship but don’t let her do this for too long. If she’s still talking about him non-stop after say, three weeks, tell her that she has to let go and not dwell on the past anymore.
Don’t Bitch About Her Ex
It may be tempting to say things like, “I never liked him anyway” or “He was such a miserly creep”, but keep the bitching to a minimum. Negativity wouldn’t get her out of the rut and it’ll probably make her angry to be reminded that she fell for such a jerk. Also, there’s always a chance she might get back together with him – you don’t want your comments to come back to haunt you. Instead, try couching your response so that you are relatively neutral – think things like, “I can’t believe he said that” or “It’s his loss”. This way, you’re not getting personal, which will in turn reassure her that he wasn’t such a good fit after all.
Look Out For Her
Let her know that you have her back. Stop her from doing anything silly or embarrassing, like drunkenly texting her ex or stalking his new girl’s social media accounts. Reassure her that heartbreak doesn’t last forever and she will be okay one day. Put things into perspective (bring up previous break-up examples, for instance) without dismissing what she’s feeling right now. Remember, if you have her back, she’ll have yours in the future.