From The Straits Times    |
How to have hot sex when a couple is physically apart

Laura’s* job means weeks of being away from her husband. But she says her smartphone – and some clever apps – is all it takes to have a steamy sex life, even if you and your man are on different continents.


Kenneth* and I have been married for almost four years. We’ve always enjoyed a great sex life, so when I began travelling more often for work last year, I was concerned about how it would be affected. My job as a group purchasing manager takes me to Australia and around Asia every other month, and usually for just over a week each time. 

Being without sex and without each other for that long was difficult for us initially, but we’ve devised ways to stay emotionally connected and have our sexual needs fulfilled. Kenneth is a lecturer and rarely has to travel for work.


We send each other sexy texts and picture messages whenever the mood strikes. Best of all, it’s free because we use iMessage on our iPhones.

Kenneth’s text messages are usually more graphic because he’s less inhibited. He might tell me what he misses most about my body or our lovemaking, or he’ll send me a photo of his ripped bod, which he knows turns me on every time. I usually send him photos of my face and boobs, or my lingerie-clad body, and tell him what I’m feeling for him at that particular moment.

I love the sexy and exciting back-and-forth that results from just one teasing text or photo message. If I’ve gone lingerie shopping that day, I’ll take a picture of whatever I’ve bought and send it to him. It gets him so excited and he’ll text back that he can’t wait for me to come home so he can see me in it.

READ MORE: What’s ‘blocking’ your orgasm and preventing you from enjoying sex? and Are you giving out ‘pity’ sex?​

Of course, privacy is an issue for us. Thankfully, neither of us has mistakenly sent messages to other people so far, nor have our phones fallen into the wrong hands. Kenneth communicates with me from his personal mobile phone, not his work phone, so there is no danger of him accidentally sending personal messages to colleagues or students. And before I send a text, I double-check that it’s going to Kenneth and nobody else.



If the time difference is not too great, we prefer to Skype – in bed with our laptops. I lie on one side of the bed and place my laptop on the other pillow with the screen facing me and Kenneth does the same. It feels like we are lying right next to each other.

We usually just talk about our day – nothing too exciting – but sometimes, things get a little X-rated. If we’re both in the mood, we take our tops off. I show him my booty and caress my breasts for him.

I’ve heard of women doing stripteases and even masturbating for their guys on Skype, but, sexy as that sounds, I’m not sure I’m brave enough to do it.

But sometimes, we’ll Skype without video so we can have phone sex. It’s always better when you can only hear and not see each other. We exchange really racy fantasies while masturbating and we’ll both manage to orgasm.

During the day, if we are out and about and have access to Wi-Fi, we chat on Facetime – and blow kisses at each other when we say goodbye.



Sometimes, Kenneth writes me sexy love notes and leaves them in my suitcase and handbag. He’ll tuck them into random pockets and slots so I’ll find them while I’m away.

The notes are usually pretty saucy but they always make me laugh because sometimes, they’re quite corny – once, he wrote how he misses burying his face in my breasts and spanking my butt!

He writes sweet, simple and romantic messages too. I stash these in a pocket in my suitcase and re-read them when I’m alone in my hotel room and missing him. They make me feel closer to him.

When Kenneth and I were dating, we started a relationship blog – a private one that only the two of us can log on to. It was another way for us to express our feelings for each other. Plus, whenever we travelled together, we’d post our holiday snaps and keep a diary of what we did. Unless we went on holiday, we were quite hopeless at updating it – in fact, for a couple of years, neither of us wrote very much on it.

Once I started travelling for work, we decided to revive it. So now, we write intimate letters to each other online. Kenneth even pens erotic short stories for me, in which he shares his lusty fantasies and I am the star character. The stories are so raunchy that I once had an orgasm just from reading them!



I’ve heard of couples breaking up because of the pressures of work travel. That’s why Kenneth and I believe it’s important to maintain that sexual intimacy no matter where we are. Just because one of you is overseas a lot doesn’t mean that your sex life should suffer. And these days, with the number of devices, programs and apps around, having long-distance sex is not at all difficult. We have our own ‘sexy time’ twice or thrice a week when I travel.

You don’t have to have explicit phone conversations or Skype naked to feel intimate, either. It’s really about inspiring lusty and romantic feelings in each other and finding ways to share these sexual desires and keep the spark alive.

Of course, nothing beats the real thing. When I come back from a trip, I am always so sexually revved-up that I can’t wait to have my way with Kenneth. It’s as though the whole work trip was one long tease and days later, we finally get to release this built-up lust.

Kenneth says he doesn’t mind me travelling often for work because the sex is always super amazing when I get home!”

*Names have been changed

This story was first published in April 2017.