Singaporeans reveal to us their most cringe-worthy sex incidents

1. An unexpected visitor

1/10

“I was in the middle of hot-and-heavy missionary sex when, all of a sudden, I felt a damp patch under my butt. I ignored it, thinking that it was perspiration. Suddenly my guy stopped moving. When I opened my eyes I noticed the look of horror on his face – he was staring down at my genitals with his mouth agape. ‘You’re bleeding!’ he exclaimed. My period was not expected to arrive for another few days so I was as shocked as he was. Worse, I’d bled quite a bit so my boyfriend’s sheets were ruined. I didn’t know where to put my face. Needless to say, that spoilt the moment for us and we couldn’t go back to having sex.” – Nicole*, 26, postgraduate student

All images via Giphy.com

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2. What a gas

2/10

“I was dating this woman who was very ladylike and demure. While we were making love, I accidentally passed wind. I’d had a tummy-ache all evening and was feeling extremely bloated and uncomfortable. The sound was pretty loud, too, and let’s not talk about the smell. Imagine the look of disgust on my girlfriend’s face when she realised what I’d done. As embarrassed as I was, I found the whole incident pretty funny. We continued with sex but I could tell that she was praying for it to be over. I apologised but she refused to talk about it – I think she was more embarrassed than I was!” – Glenn*, 28, engineer

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3. Mummy’s here

3/10

“When I was in my early 20s and still living with my parents, I used to bring my girlfriend home a lot, something my parents didn’t mind. However, one night, my mother almost walked in on my girlfriend and I being physically intimate. Cindy* and I were making out pretty heavily when my mum started calling out for me. She knocked on my door once and was just about to open it when my girlfriend screamed. My poor mother almost passed out from the shock and hurriedly closed the door. I don’t know what she saw! I was so worried that Mum might have seen me naked with my girl that I never brought Cindy home after that.” – Colin*, 34, writer

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4. That hurt!

4/10

“I was straddling my husband when he grabbed my hips and pulled me towards his face. He’d obviously wanted to perform oral sex on me. Unfortunately I was slow to react to him and I lost my balance. When I leaned back to prevent myself from toppling over, my right knee accidentally hit his face. I could actually hear my kneecap smack right into his cheekbone, nose and forehead. My husband yelled out in pain and I fell backwards, my head falling onto his penis and testicles. Once again, my hubby screamed. I felt so bad! At that moment I just wanted to disappear. I apologised to my husband but he just laughed it off and said it was no big deal. We had to stop our lovemaking because he was in quite a bit of pain. The next day, his cheek was even a little swollen. I don’t think I’ll ever live that one down.” – Leanne*, 38, dentist

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5. A sticky situation

5/10

“My fiancée and I were doing it doggie-style when I decided that we needed some extra lubrication, so I reached over to grab the lubricant from the bedside table. I was probably a little too enthusiastic when I squeezed the tube because half the contents flew out, landing right on the back of my fiancée’s head! She shrieked as the cold jelly dripped down her neck and face. It was quite a funny sight and we both collapsed into laughter. Although it took us a while to clean up the mess, it didn’t kill the sexy and playful mood between us that night.” – Joshua*, 32, pilot

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6. You make me gag

6/10

“I was performing oral sex on my new boyfriend, Daniel*. Halfway through the act, my gag reflex kicked in and I threw up all over his penis. I’d never been so mortified in my whole life! I had heard of women throwing up during oral sex but I never imagined it would happen to me. Of course, Daniel was horrified and immediately lost his erection. The pillow and sheets had vomit all over them too – Daniel had to throw them away. Thankfully Daniel was understanding – but it took several weeks before I felt brave enough to perform oral sex on him again.” – Jennifer*, 29, music teacher

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7. Cramping up

7/10

“I was on top of my girlfriend and we were going at it quite intensely. Suddenly a bolt of pain shot through my calves and thighs. I’d never experienced a cramp that bad. In fact, I almost blacked out from the pain. I had to stop having sex because I could barely move. My girlfriend, who is a lot smaller and lighter than me had to roll me over onto my back. I was quite embarrassed, to say the least. There I was, a tall, heavy and muscular guy being moved by a tiny woman. But worst of all, I had to be moved right in the middle of sex. After a few minutes the pain disappeared but my girlfriend still reminds me of that episode.” – David*, 33, lawyer

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8. Snort, snort

8/10

“I was having sex with this guy for the first time. His hands were all over my body and when he touched me in one particular spot on my belly, I started laughing uncontrollably. It tickled! Suddenly my laughs became snorts and cackles and I couldn’t stop myself. This guy looked at me like I was crazy. I felt like hiding because I sounded horrible. We got over the embarrassment quickly and resumed having sex, but I never saw the guy again.” – Melanie*, 29, communications manager

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9. Tummy trouble

9/10

“I had just finished a heavy dinner and I was feeling queasy. Instead of resting I went straight to bed and had sex with my husband. Mid-way through the act my stomach started rumbling. The more my husband moved on top of me the worse I felt. Next thing I knew I was throwing up all over him. I could taste my dinner in my mouth and it was gross. I was terribly embarrassed but my husband moved swiftly into action, helping me out of bed and into the shower and washing the sheets.” – Tanya*, 37, jewellery designer

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10. Bad scratch

10/10

“I probably should have trimmed my nails before having sex with my fiancée, because while I was caressing her face during sex, one of my raggedy nails scratched her cheek pretty badly. The skin split open and started to bleed. She started freaking out and I felt so bad. Over the next few days she had to wear a Band-Aid on her cheek and I had to deal with feeling like a total idiot.” – Mark*, 29, civil servant

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*All names have been changed.