Ow! Read this if sex is painful or uncomfortable for you

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Here’s the thing: There are many reasons why penetration is making you scream in pain, not pleasure. (Not-so-fun fact: Painful sex is medically referred to as dyspareunia.) Here are the five most common ones; see if any of these signs and symptoms are applicable to you, and get help, stat.

You're Not Sufficiently Turned On

You may be feeling mentally excited and ready for action, but that doesn't mean the rest of your physical body has caught up. You see, it takes time for your vagina to expand enough to make penetration comfortable, so don't rush through foreplay (as a general rule of thumb, most women need at least 20 minutes). Being sufficiently turned on for penetrative sex translates to self-lubrication, so if you're not “wet”, carry on with foreplay. Of course, using lubricant will make it easier for him to slide in, but that in itself won't expand your vagina, so your tube of jelly might not help much if vaginal expansion is your main issue.

You Have Vaginismus

If your vagina “shuts down” every time he tries to enter you, you might be suffering from vaginismus. This condition causes the muscles at the entrance of your vagina to spasm when penetration happens, making it virtually impossible to even have intercourse. This distressing syndrome causes a lot of pain, but the good news is that it's treatable. Your doctor might prescribe pelvic-floor exercises, for instance; stretching exercises may also help, so you can consider gently inserting a tampon or finger into your vagina and slowly work your way up to having actual intercourse.

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You Have An Infection

It could be as simple as a yeast infection or something more serious such as STIs like chlamydia, gonorrhoea or genital herpes. Every tiny change in your vaginal area can contribute to pain, so pay attention to what your body is telling you. You might also experience itchiness and unusual odours if you have an infection. Most genital infections can be easily addressed and treated, so don’t be ashamed; see your doctor for help.

You Have Endometriosis

This is the condition where the tissue that usually lines the inside of your uterus grows outside of it.

It's one of the most common gynaecological conditions; one of the symptoms can be pain during intercourse. Another symptom is painful periods so if you suffer from this too, see a doctor and he'll perform an ultrasound to confirm it. Unfortunately, there is no cure, but treatment can range from medication to surgery.

You're Stressed

It's not always easy to push stressful thoughts about the pile of paperwork waiting for you in the office, even when you're getting busy between the sheets. The problem is that this gets in the way of actually enjoying sex and can result in pain as your body struggles to deal with penetration. It's not just your body that has to be ready; your mind is an important aspect, too. Make sure you're as relaxed as possible before the action begins – give each other a sensual massage, put on relaxing music or practice mindfulness or meditation. Good luck getting it on!