Forget sex toys from a sex shop – check out these racy alternatives from your neighbourhood supermart

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Psst! It’s no secret that food can spice up your sex life. And where better to talk about food and sex than Singapore, where eating is considered a national pastime?

“Food is such a big part of our Asian culture here,” says Dr Lee, a clinical sexologist. “It’s present in festivities like Chinese New Year, weddings and even funerals – so why not love-making?” The Straits Times reported that an underground supper club in Singapore, dubbed the “Secret Cooks Club”, had organised a dinner for six people inspired by the obscure Japanese practice of nyotaimori – serving sushi on a naked woman’s body.

While the secret cooks weren’t looking to titillate (their main aim is for members to network over novel concept dinners), it’s hard to escape the naughty connotations of patrons eating off a lithe female.

Remember how the feisty Samantha Jones (played by Kim Cattrall) in the 2008 Sex and the City movie served up California maki on her nude body for her beau? It was a wasabi-hot idea. Hell, we might even wonder what it’s like to be human food platters for our men – and not so they can savour just the sushi.

But here’s the irony: In a land where a plate of char kway teow costs $3, getting frisky with food is known for coming at a premium. My recent visit to a sex shop confirms this. There are options aplenty – think chocolate-flavoured body paint and edible honey-flavoured body dust. The catch? A bottle of chocolate paint costs a cool $42.

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“A jar of Nutella tastes almost the same but costs much less!” I protest to the sales staff.

“But ours is smoother and glides on more evenly,” comes the reply.

I am not sold, and am happy to hear that Dr Lee shares my antipathy. “I once bought chocolate sauce from a sex shop,” she recalls. “It was so thick it got stuck in my partner’s body hair. I didn’t enjoy the experience.”

Convinced that cheaper (but no less spicy) novelty bedroom edibles existed, Dr Lee and I head to a supermarket to see what we could find. And we do find lots to fill our trolley with.

FROZEN DELIGHTS

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According to Dr Lee, and ice cubes are big hits among the over 100 couples she’s counselled in the past year. Slathering tingly-cold treats on your erogenous zones can send the sexual equivalent of an electric jolt through your body. In fact, one of Dr Lee’s favourite experiences with food involved plain ol’ vanilla ice cream.

“We scooped some out into a bowl and left it to melt,” she recalls. “Then he drizzled it over my sensitive bits before licking it off.” The contrast between the cold liquid and his warm tongue created an oh-so-delicious sensation.

If you’re afraid of sticky sheets, try breath mints. Dr Lee suggests sucking on one before going down on him for added zing. Ice-cold treats also numb your tongue, apparently masking funky aftertastes.

You’ll get the same effect with ice cubes (you can freeze blocks of cola or fruit juice, too). The difference is the cubes will melt, leaving rivulets of deliciously cool water trickling down his manhood.

DITCH HOLLYWOOD CLICHES

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Surprisingly, chocolate sauce and whipped cream – sex column favourites – get the thumbs down from Dr Lee.

“I think whipped cream is unhealthy and fattening,” says Dr Lee, who turned vegetarian for health reasons. And chocolate sauce? “It’s difficult to use chocolate sauces and spreads in general,” she says, adding that the sticky stuff is a chore to lick off.

But fret not if you have a sweet tooth – there are options. “Feed him bite-sized candies in bed,” says Dr Lee, pointing at packs of individually-wrapped treats. It’ll be hassle-free, but no less saucy.

SAVE ROOM FOR “DESSERT”

One mistake Dr Lee’s seen is couples who start a romantic evening with an orgy of a feast – they wine and dine lavishly before retiring for some lovin’. “But your body’s so busy digesting dinner, you’ll lack the energy and mood to get it on!” she says.

To avoid that dreaded jelak (satiated) feeling, save dinner for after sex. “Start the night feeding each other crackers with toppings like cheese and hummus,” Dr Lee suggests.

Alternatively, grab some greens. “The first thing I’d do before sex is to make a salad and feed it to my hubby,” Dr Lee says. “I feel more energetic after having fresh vegetables.”

Salad and sex – who knew? Lesson learnt: Keep an open mind so you don’t rule out unlikely bedfellows.

JUICY IDEAS

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We squeal after spying packs of frozen raspberries. “You can blindfold your man and feed him these berries,” Dr Lee suggests. “Let him guess what you’re putting in his mouth.”

Succulent fruit also gives us racy inspiration. “We can crush pieces of watermelon and let the juices slide into his mouth,” I say, thinking this would also work with oranges and peaches.

“Or drip the juice all over his body before licking it off,” Dr Lee adds. Seems like you can get vitamins and nookie at the same time.

At this point, we start goofing around, imagining how we might manoeuvre a massive watermelon around a man’s, erm, nether regions. As the bubbly Dr Lee jokingly mimes the action using a half-cut melon, we dissolve into giggles, oblivious to other shoppers’ quizzical looks. And for the record, you should scoop small chunks of the flesh out, tracing it lightly on his skin.

But our little moment of levity underscores an important point. Bringing food into the bedroom isn’t just sexy – it’s also kinda funny and likely to elicit goofy gaffes and sheepish laughs. And that’s exactly why introducing nibbles can help break an intimacy dry spell, and make sex a blast once again.

“Food can be an ice-breaker in bed, especially for couples who haven’t had sex in a long time and find it very hard to start again,” muses Dr Lee at the end of our shopping trip. “It’s like having a little picnic – eating food with and off each other. You can have fun and laugh about it.”

And the best part is, it’s so simple. “Just open your fridge and use what’s in it!”

SHOP OFF

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Sex shop

These formulas are sometimes hypoallergenic, so they’ll minimise allergic reactions on sensitive skin.

Some give a “warming” sensation and can double as lubricants. Others are water-based, meaning they’re condom-friendly – that is, they won’t erode rubbers.

When applied, these help him slide more easily into you, and give him a tingling sensation.

Supermarket

Feed them to each other. They’re fuss-free, practical and won’t mess up the sheets – what’s not to like?

“It’s great for massage,” said Dr Lee. But oils, including oil-based lubricants, can reduce the strength of latex condoms, says the group technical development director of a condom maker.

These don’t lubricate but do give a pleasantly cool sensation. Place one (or more) in your mouth while going down on him. To avoid choking, don’t pop more than four or five sweets.

WATCH OUT! THE FORBIDDEN ZONE

Never insert food into your vagina as this can disturb its natural environment, says Dr Ng, a gynaecologist. Sugary foods encourage bacteria and yeast to grow, leading to vaginal infections. Repeated infections can decrease your fertility. Try having him nibble off your chest, inner arms, inner thighs and neck instead.

If you suspect something’s not right down south, hightail it to a gynae. Dr Ng says danger signs include itching, fishy odours, painful urination and thick, whitish-grey or yellow-green discharge.

This story was originally published in the September 2011 issue of Her World. 

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