Baring it all: How stripping down for a boudoir shoot helped me to embrace my confidence

As the founder and sex educator behind Hedonist, I often get asked during workshops and pop-ups about ways to get more in touch with their sensuality. And you know what kept coming up? Boudoir Photography.

Have you ever thought about celebrating your body, boosting your confidence, or capturing intimate, empowering moments either for yourself or with a partner? With boudoir, it seemed like such a powerful experience, one that resonated with so many. So when I finally found a photographer who truly understood my vision and could create a warm, welcoming space, I didn’t waste any time making it happen!

But here’s the thing—I knew I couldn’t offer this kind of experience without truly understanding what it felt like. I needed to step into that vulnerable space myself, to bare it all (literally) in front of the camera. I wanted to fully grasp both the emotional and physical aspects of this offering so I could better guide those who might feel self-conscious or unsure. So, I took the plunge and booked a boudoir shoot for myself.

The Setup: An unlikely personal experiment

On paper, it seemed like a no-brainer. People probably think I’m oozing confidence all the time—after all, I model my own lingerie, advocate for sex-ed and sexual empowerment in workshops, and run a company all about embracing your sexuality unapologetically. You’d think I’d have zero hesitation about stripping down in front of the camera. “Easy peasy, right?”

Turns out, it wasn’t quite that simple.

In fact, it totally challenged what I thought my boundaries were, forcing me to confront insecurities I didn’t even realise I still had. It humbled me. And, like everyone else, it reminded me that I’m still on my own sexual journey, discovering new things about myself every day—about my desires, my limits, and what it truly means to feel empowered.

The Reality Check: Facing vulnerability head-on

Walking into the studio, I fully expected to breeze through the shoot, thinking I had everything under control. I came fully prepared—visual mood board? Check. Sexy playlist? Check. Carefully curated lingerie sets? Laid out and ready.

On the surface, I was prepared. But internally? I was freaking out!

Self-doubt hit me like a wave. Am I in shape enough for this? What if I look awkward? What if people see me differently after this? Oh my god, what if my corporate partners, let alone my mom sees this?! The more I thought about it, the more those insecurities crept in. As I slipped into my first lingerie set, those thoughts kept spiraling, making me feel vulnerable and exposed with every pose.

“And then it hit me—this is exactly what so many of my clients would be feeling!

In that moment, I realized just how much courage it takes to strip away not just the clothes but the layers of doubt and fear we carry. This wasn’t just about looking good in front of a camera—it was about confronting the limiting beliefs that had been quietly holding me back from stepping into my power.
The fears that had been holding me back? They weren’t truths—just old stories I had been telling myself for far too long. And this was the moment to rewrite them.

Through it all, I kept picturing future me on the sidelines, grinning, clapping, and shouting, “Yasss girl, we did that! I’m proud of you!”

Confidence through vulnerability

What made this experience even more special was having my husband there with me. It was his first boudoir shoot too, and I was grateful that he was just as eager and open to the process. Sure, he had his own nerves and jitters, but stepping into the unknown together made it far less intimidating for both of us.

We laughed through the awkward moments, reassured each other when we felt unsure, and became each other’s biggest cheerleaders. We even played around with some naughty props I had brought along to add a little extra flavor to our shots. And at one point, when we struggled to find a comfortable pose, the photographer gently stepped in, guiding us into something that felt natural rather than forced.

For my husband, who had never posed for a shoot like this before, that extra guidance made all the difference. With just a few small adjustments, a hand here, a shift in weight there, we suddenly found ourselves in a position that felt effortless and us. And as I watched his confidence grow in real time, it gave me the push I needed to let go of my own self-doubt.

As the shoot was wrapping up, I gathered the courage to strip away the lingerie, standing there in just nipple pasties and a thong—basically as close to fully nude as you can get. In those final moments, I closed my eyes, let go of any lingering doubts, and embraced the present. I told myself, “In 10 years, this won’t matter. If anything, it’ll be a moment I’ll look back on and marvel at how far I’ve come.”

No more second-guessing, adjusting, or overthinking. I allowed myself to just be.

A cherished memory, a stronger connection

So, what did I take away from this boudoir shoot? Beyond the stunning photos, I walked away with something far more powerful: a deeper understanding of confidence.

Confidence isn’t about perfection or squeezing into some unrealistic ideal. It’s about embracing yourself fully, exactly as you are, in all your glorious imperfection.

This experience reminded me that we all have insecurities, and that’s okay. What truly matters is how we navigate them and choose to love ourselves anyway. As the shoot progressed, I stopped picking myself apart. I let go of the urge to control every angle, every pose, every tiny detail. Instead, I focused on how I felt and in that shift, I discovered something transformative.

At its core, boudoir photography isn’t about looking sexy for someone else. It’s about seeing yourself with a softer, more compassionate gaze—through your own lens, not society’s. It’s about celebrating and honoring your sensuality.

And that feeling? That sense of ownership over my body, my confidence, my story? It lingers long after the shoot is over.

So remember: don’t wait for someone else to tell you you’re enough. Because, honey, you already are. And trust me—if I can do it, you can absolutely do it too.