Ask Jay: Is 10 years too big an age gap?

I’m falling for someone who’s more than 10 years younger (he’s legal, of course). Sometimes, I can’t help but feel that it’s inappropriate, though he says he doesn’t care about the age difference. Can he truly be unbothered by the large age gap, and how will I know for sure?

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Thank you for pointing out that he is indeed legal. As far as feeling that your relationship is inappropriate or wrong, that’s just a social stigma, particularly one that is put on women more than men. Men have been hooking up with younger women since the start of time, and things are finally starting to swing the other way. And how do you tell if he’s truly unbothered by the age gap? You can’t ever really know. Just like you can’t ever really know if someone truly loves you or not. It’s all about trust, and as long as he sticks with you, and you stick with him, does it really matter?

(Read also "Asian Celeb Couples With Large Age Gaps; Jay Chou, 42 And Hannah Quinlivan, 27")

I love my partner, but I feel that we’ve lost a lot of that spark from our early days, and now we’re so comfortable that everything is simply routine, even bland. We had discussed and agreed that we’d get married some day, but is not having an obvious reason to break up good enough a reason to stay together?

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You’ve lost the spark? Welcome to a real relationship. Relationships are easy when they’re new and the spark is fresh. But every relationship eventually gets to the point you’re at now – it doesn’t matter who you’re dating. The real question is: Do you want to rekindle that spark? And if you do, then not having an obvious reason to break up really is a good enough reason to stay together. Lots of people are in crappy relationships where the reasons to break up are obvious, so consider yourself lucky.