From The Straits Times    |


A post shared by Relationship Goals (@couplegoals) on


We’re all plugged in to our various devices these days and spend a big chunk of our time hooked on social media. Whether it’s an obsession with particular celebrities, influencers or just the drama of daily lives that many of us seem to have (or even create just for the purposes of social media), the ‘struggle’ is real.

Social media could also have an adverse effect on your relationship – and you don’t even have to be hooked on it for it to negatively affect you. Here are seven ways it could be ruining your relationship.


You’re wasting precious time

Photo: 123rf

Have you ever found yourself at dinner with your man or even just relaxing on the couch together, but either one – or both – of you is always looking at your phone too? It’s one of the modern world’s #firstworldproblems and it’s a common issue in relationships. You’re telling your partner in not-so-subtle ways that he’s not important enough for you to deserve your full attention because what’s happening on social media is way more interesting.

When you’re alone with your other half, make sure you’re both completely ‘there’ and not distracted by the online world. Your social media dramas can wait, your partner really should come first.


You’re sharing too much

Photo: 123rf

Oversharing is a real thing and it can cause more than just embarrassment – it could also cost you your partner. Never post status updates all about your partner, both good and bad things should be kept private between the two of you. It’s disrespectful to him to place details of your fights or intimate moments online for others to see.

Then there’s also the fact that sharing your deepest thoughts online makes your partner feel less special; we should only be sharing our most personal stuff with special people in our lives so posting such things to people that include mere acquaintances or people you went to school with 15 years ago and haven’t seen since dilutes the meaning of actually sharing your private thoughts and feelings with your partner.


You thrive on the attention


A post shared by Relationship Goals (@couplegoals) on

It could be something as simple as how many ‘likes’ your carefully-posed-for photo on Instagram gets. Or if anyone cares about your Facebook post about your company’s latest achievement. Let’s face it, we’re all addicted to a certain extent to the attention we get on social media – we wouldn’t be posting anything otherwise – but constantly checking is an obsession.

Instead, we should be more concerned with how fulfilling our real-life relationships are so be content with what you have with your man.


You’re comparing your relationship to others


A post shared by Relationship Goals (@couplegoals) on

So Sally’s boyfriend is always cooking her delicious (and very photogenic) meals and May’s husband is constantly surprising her with romantic getaways, while you and your man haven’t been on a holiday in a year and your meal plans involve ‘which hawker centre should we go to tonight?’. This doesn’t mean that your friends are happier in their relationships and that yours is a lesser one because it seems ‘boring’ in comparison. Once you start comparing your relationship to others, you’re on a dangerous downhill slope to ‘why can’t my man be more like so-and-so’s boyfriend?’.

Always remember that social media posts are often carefully-orchestrated in order to get the best reaction so don’t believe everything you see.


It leads to misunderstandings

Photo: Pexels

Have you ever wondered who your man’s new female ‘friend’ is on Facebook? Or why a certain female on his friends list thanked him for ‘the other day’? Social media can be loads of fun but it can also be a minefield for misunderstandings. So if his ex liked his photo, don’t jump to conclusions and assume they’re still in love. When it doubt, ask your partner directly, in person, so as to avoid any unnecessary mix-ups.


You’re being passive aggressive

You’re unhappy about something your man has done but, instead of confronting him about it, you post a status update like ‘why won’t men listen?’. You might think you’re getting something off your chest but the only person you should be discussing the situation with is your partner.

Let’s not forget that people are also generally very happy to chime in and give their opinions in such situations but don’t let anyone influence you on matters that should be strictly between you and your man.


You’re flirting without even knowing

Photo: 123rf

It’s very easy to say things online to anyone without thinking about the consequences but sometimes you could end up hurting others – including your partner – without realising. Still Facebook friends with your ex? You might engage in friendly banter with him but your boyfriend might not think of it as harmless. Or you could be fine with accepting friend requests from strangers then reply when they tell you how much they like your photos.

Always take your partner’s feelings into consideration when conversing with other men online and never say anything to them that you wouldn’t want your man saying to any woman who isn’t you.