From The Straits Times    |

Men and sex

Image: 123rf

Because it is the Year of the Cock, we grilled two of our former CLEO Bachelors and a medical expert on what men really wants us to know about the D.

Men and sex

1. Morning wood is completely normal

“When we wake up with an erection aka a morning glory, please understand that it’s a natural process and it’s not because we had a dream about another girl. That’s why they’re called cocks – it’s the first thing that gets up in the morning and annoys the chicks,” says Marc Lim, 28, former CLEO Bachelor.


2.  The average guy lasts around five minutes in bed

Every penis is different and there’s no fixed time for how long a guy can keep his erection up, but Dr Fong Yan Kit, a specialist in Urology & Consultant at Raffles Urology Centre, tells us that the average “should be around five minutes”. Several studies on sexual behaviour has also confirmed that the actual act of sex averages out at five to seven minutes. So you know, don’t be too hard on him for not being able to hold his erection for 20 minutes.


3. When it comes to sex, it doesn’t matter if it’s circumcised or not

“For the female partner, the feeling will be the same,” says Dr Fong. So there you go – your vagina won’t be able to tell the difference between a circumcised or uncircumcised penis. It’s a different story for men who went under the knife though. Dr Fong explains: “The head of the penis may be more sensitive for a few months after the operation.”


4. Yes, sometimes men are guilty of thinking with the wrong head

His brain won’t work as well when all that blood is rushing down there, so maybe don’t have that serious talk about that Very Important Thing right after doing the deed. “Erections cause us to make bad decisions. Don’t expect us to do math or solve problems when we’re trying to get into your pants. Give us some time to cool down before you hit us with the hard questions,” says Shaun Tupaz, DJ at ONE FM 91.3 and former CLEO Bachelor.

Men and sex

Image: Giphy

5.  Don’t be mean to his peen

“Don’t make jokes about our manhood – be it length, shape, or smell. It can be extremely emasculating and affect the confidence of some guys, and prevent them from rising to the occasion when it matters most,” Marc tells us. Which brings us to the next point…


6. Size. Don’t even go there

Both Marc and Shaun pointed out that no guy likes hearing about the package of your exes past. So even if you’ve, uh, downgraded, let him remain blissfully ignorant. As Marc so eloquently puts it: “Size is something that’s out of our control, and it doesn’t matter as much as chemistry and technique. It’s not the size of the boat; it’s the motion of the ocean… and whether the captain can stay in port long enough for all his seaman to disembark.”


7. You can break a boner

Penis fractures are very real and, we imagine, very painful. “It usually happens when an erected penis is forcefully bent. Care must be taken during sexual intercourse, especially when changing position,” warns Dr Fong.


8. There’s absolutely no way of telling the size of someone’s penis without actually seeing it

Nope, his shoe size or the distance between his thumb and index finger are not indicators of his length. There’s no science behind it.

Admittedly, movies and porn may have had a hand in this. “But honestly, to a man, a blowjob feels more intimate than intercourse,” says Shaun.

Men and sex

10. But it’s a want, not a need. So don’t feel pressured to do anything you don’t feel like doing

“A blowjob to a guy, is like walking into Sephora for a girl. You see the bright lights and can’t help but step in,” Shaun explains. “It’s not necessary, but it’s always a want… just like how girls always want to walk around in Sephora, there’s that desire for a blowjob.”


11. Surprise – premature ejaculation is a more of psychological problem

“Premature ejaculation is a learned behaviour. Men who masturbate frequently tend to have this problem as they are used to achieving orgasm quickly. It’s more psychological than pathological,” says Dr Fong. Just FYI, anything less than a minute is considered premature ejaculation.


12. Men have difficulty cumming too

It’s not you, it’s him. According to Dr Fong, it’s usually happens because of the inability to maintain the stimulation to reach orgasm. The reasons can be psychological (distractions, stress, etc.) or pathological (erectile dysfunction). And if he’s taking a while to get hard, don’t take it personally because the problem is not with you. “There can be a thousand factors why the flag is flown at half-mast. He may be stressed, or maybe there’s just other things occupying his mind at that moment,” says Shaun.

Men and sex

Image: Giphy

This article was first published on