Ideas & Advice

Pre-wedding jitters: 7 reasons why you've got cold feet

Having cold feet about your wedding? Find out why you're feeling the wedding nerves and how you should deal with it
 

Photo by Petr Ovralov on Unsplash

Feeling nervous before any big event is natural, not least before one of the biggest days of your life – your wedding day.

But what is it that is making you feel this way? Is it just normal apprehensions about whether the months spent planning will come together, or is it a bigger concern?

Here's seven top reasons why you’re feeling anxious before your wedding day.


Photo by Dmytro Zinkevych on 123rf

 

1. What if they’re not the one?

This is possibly the biggest worry you could be harbouring in the lead up to your big day; what if the person you’re marrying isn’t ‘the one’?

After all, your wedding vows declare that you will spend the rest of your life with this person, so it’s kind of important that they’re the right person for you.

Whether you’re a believer in soul mates and destiny or not, the only way to put your worries to bed is to reassure yourself that you love your partner and that you want to grow old with them.

If not, then now’s the time to speak up. Especially as researchers have found 19 per cent of women who said they had pre-wedding doubts were divorced four years later

 

2. Am I ready for marriage?

It can be all too easy to get swept up in the romance of a marriage proposal when that huge sparkling diamond is staring you in the face.

Likewise, the whirlwind of wedding planning can sometimes hinder your true feelings about the relationship you’re in, as you’re totally consumed by planning your big day.

You might take a moment before your wedding day and question if you’re ready to commit to someone in the most serious way there is.

Marriage might have been the last thing on your mind before they popped the question, so be true to yourself and ask if you’re ready for this level of commitment.

 

3. What if something goes wrong?

Having spent what could possibly be years planning your wedding, there might be a big weight on your mind in the final few days before the big day about whether it will all come together and go the way you hoped.

Will the wedding entertainers turn up? What if there’s a power cut at the reception venue? And will the bouquet be the right blooms?

Many of these mishaps are not your responsibility, and worrying about them won’t resolve anything.

Try to think positive and focus your mind on the fun things that can’t really go awry – throwing the bouquet, receiving wedding gifts and seeing your loved ones.

See also: 5 HEALTHY FIGHTS EVERY MARRIED COUPLE SHOULD HAVE

 


Photo by Suhyeon Choi on Unsplash

 

4. Why am I really getting married?

Closer to your wedding day, you might start questioning the main motive behind getting married.

One would hope it would be purely love and commitment. But what if it’s about money? Or fear of loneliness?

While it’s normal to have a last-minute freak out before your wedding, if it’s one that raises fundamental questions such as this, then perhaps you need to reassess.
 

5. Am I just excited?

Often, excitable feelings can easily be misconstrued for nerves and anxiety.

Adrenaline and that feeling of butterflies in our stomachs may remind us of those moments of dread, before school exams perhaps.

But before you label yourself as being nervous about your big day, have you thought that you might just be excited?

Putting a positive spin on these jittery feelings may just be the answer to making you relax about tying the knot.

 

 

Photo by Sweet Ice Cream Photography on Unsplash

 

6. Does my family approve?

Are you worried that your parents do not approve of the person you have chosen to marry?

Perhaps one of your siblings doesn’t see eye to eye with your partner, or maybe your grandmother has a bad opinion of them.

This can put a big burden on couples, but as long as you’re true to each other and love one another, then there’s no point thinking for others.

Talk with those in question and reassure them that your partner makes you happy and that it would mean a lot to you for them to accept your future husband or wife.

 

7. Does this mark the end of an era?

Some soon-to-be husbands or wives may be feeling apprehensive before their wedding day as they fear it will mark the end of an era with their family.

If you are particularly close with your parents or siblings, or if getting married means you’ll be leaving your family home (or even the country), then you might be feeling saddened by the prospect of ‘saying goodbye’ to your family.

In this circumstance, you must see your wedding day as just another step in life – not necessarily a step away from your family.

Weddings and marriage are an addition – a growth and a new beginning.


See also: HOW TO DEAL WITH CONFLICT BETWEEN FAMILIES WHILE PLANNING FOR YOUR WEDDING