Ideas & Advice

Building a strong relationship after the wedding - a marriage counsellor shares how

14 questions from Billy Chan, marriage counsellor at Eagles Mediation and Counselling Centre to ask yourselves before tying the knot.
 

 

Image: Oleksandr Bedenyuk/123rf.com

We’ve covered so much discourse on life after the wedding, tips on keeping your relationship alive, or ways to spice up your first night as newly-weds, but preparing yourself for your marriage, is necessary, too.

The team of marriage counsellors from the Eagles Mediation and Counselling Centre (EMCC) has provided us a list of questions couples should ask each other to help them prepare for married life

The questions will help put you on the same page (if you aren’t already) when it comes to your future and lead to the creation of your own “combined culture” which will set the direction and pace of your relationship.

Discussing your deepest fears, concerns, dreams, goals, and aspirations for the relationship will also force you to take a closer look at issues that may affect the future.

See also: 4 RELATIONSHIP ISSUES YOU HAVE TO TACKLE BEFORE THE WEDDING

These questions will also help manage future disagreements and conflicts  (here's how to prevent these 5 common marriage conflicts)– which will happen at one point in time. Instead of panicking or writing it off, consider external help such as seeking the advice for an older couple or marriage counsellor to manage the irresolvable conflicts in your relationship.

The 14 questions to ask your future spouse:
1. What does loving each other mean to you? 
2. What made you decide to get married? 
3. Which aspects of me are you most proud of? 
4. What will you do if the marriage gets strained or rocky? 
5. How can we recover from our conflicts? 
6. Will we be forbearing and forgiving towards each other? 
7. What kind of support systems are there for us when things don’t turn out as planned? 
8. Who will help guide us along this journey? 
9. Do we have what it takes to weather the seasons of marriage? 
10. What are two of your deepest hopes, aspirations or dreams? 
11. What are your biggest worries about the future? 
12. What goals would we set for our future family? 
13. What does our future together look like? 
14. How do you think you can make your relationship work till your golden years?

Got more questions for the team? You can go to www.emcc.org.sg, e-mail reachus@emcc.org.sg or call them at 6788-8220. Go to www.emcc.org.sg/training-education/workshops-offered/ for workshops on mediation and so on.