Ideas & Advice

How to deal with conflict between families while planning for your wedding

If putting together an entire wedding isn’t stressful enough, having unhappy in-laws and parents bickering away isn't going to help matters. Here's how you can deal with wedding arguments and conflicts between your families.
 


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#1 Stay calm

If there are underlying issues as it is, losing your temper won't help anything, and getting mad at your parents or in-laws will only agitate them more. Instead, take a deep breath and keep a cool head and…

See also: 9 SPECIAL WAYS TO INCLUDE YOUR PARENTS IN THE WEDDING

 

#2 Get to the root of the problem 

There's always an underlying reason for every quarrel. So find it, and nip the conflict in the bud by asking your parents the reason behind their unhappiness. Perhaps they are upset with the fact that your in-laws are having too much say, or that your in-laws disagree with the superstitious beliefs that your parents are making you do during the wedding. Either way, try talking to both parties and see if a compromise can be reached.

 

#3 Allocate

And if compromising isn’t working out for either of them, allocate certain projects that they can each take charge of. For instance, your parents can oversee the invitations and your in-laws can be responsible for the flowers (you can send them our list of wedding florists to consider for your bouquet, aisle decorations and more). Sometimes, all they want is to feel involved in the wedding. But remember...

 

4. You cannot please everyone 

There are bound to be petty quarrels during your wedding planning - trust me, it's normal. Everyone will have their own opinions on how the tea ceremony should be like, or what kind of dress you should wear. And if there’s one thing I've learnt from hearing my friend's wedding rants, it would be to stand firm on what you truly want. If wearing an elegant Tiffany blue gown is what you want to stroll down the aisle in, say no when your in-laws request you to wear a white gown. Believe me, if you’re out to please everyone, don’t be surprised if you end up feeling extremely miserable. Lastly…

See also: HOW TO DEAL WITH YOUR IN-LAWS DURING THE WEDDING PREP PROCESS, and THINGS YOUR FUTURE MOTHER-IN-LAW CAN'T MAKE YOU DO FOR THE WEDDING.

 

5. Follow your heart 

At the end of the day, this is your wedding – one you’ve probably dreamed of for years. The biggest decision maker should be you, and not your parents or your in-laws. Of course, it's a marriage between two families, and both parties should have an equal voice in things. But hey, there's no point in holding a wedding that leaves you feeling stressed out and unhappy. So stand firm, keep calm, and be as happy as you can be on your big day!

See also: GETTING ALONG WITH YOUR IN-LAWS - 6 THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND