From The Straits Times    |


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Getting married is exciting business. It is fascinating on so many levels that some couples find themselves getting caught up in the moment, and forgetting to have the most important conversations early on in the marriage. As newly weds, couples often find themselves struggling to get used to a shared budget responsibility, and might even find it hard to adjust to being part of a dual-income unit.

Single people get to keep financial resources to themselves, and have complete autonomy to spend as they wish. Once married however, the resources become shared and so do the responsibilities.

Many couples fight over finances and have a hard time compromising when it comes to money. That is why it is important for couples to draw clear rules and have plans early on in their marriage.

Here are some of the most common mistakes married couples make, and tips on  how to handle your money as husband and wife.

Not talking about your parents’ finances
Couples should talk about where they got their financial values from to better understand each other’s attitude toward spending. Financial disagreements often result from not understanding each other’s values. For instance, Sally grew up the youngest of 12 children and was always told to wear hand-me-downs. As a result, she feels happy every time she gets a new dress. While it is not right to spend excessively, her husband can work towards communicating a financial understanding with her by knowing her money story.

Avoiding the topic of money
Couples may avoid any form of financial discussions because they are afraid it could lead to a fight. However, pretending the issues doesn’t exist will not make it go away. Couples should seek financial advice together, and make it a point to discuss their mortgage, expenditure, insurance, loans, savings and other financial concerns regularly.

Hiding money secrets
Money troubles and a bad credit history cannot be kept secret for long. The truth will eventually come out if you are living together with your spouse and making joint plans for the future such as housing or car loans. The relationship will turn sour when money secrets are brought to light simply because there has been a loss of trust between two parties. Always be open and frank about debts or loan issues you are facing. The couple should work together to address these issues, instead of keeping secrets from one another.

Not having a budget
When you start a new life together, it is important that you both talk about how much you expect to spend and contribute every month. Set aside a certain amount for expenses, and discuss if there are any exceptions to the rules you set. Most importantly, stick to the budget and rules you set. Each person has to help the other stick to the budget because it surely isn’t easy to stick to tight routines month after month. Make sure the burden distribution is equal as well, to avoid any cause for argument. Just remember to keep your financial goals clearly set so achieving them will be made easier.

Not planning for retirement
So you’re both bringing in a fair amount of money to the household each month, but are you factoring retirement into your finances? You may be able to sustain your standard of living with the current income, but if you want to maintain it in old age, you will have to think of ways to finance your expenses when you’re no longer working. As a couple, you should talk about your career plans and share your thoughts on retirement with each other. At what age would you like to semi-retire? What will you standard of living be when you stop working? Will you have a car even when you’re much older? 

It’s good to start thinking about your golden years so that you can actually enjoy it by the time you get there. Some couples make the mistake of planning to pay for their children’s education, but neglect their own retirement completely.

Avoiding the topic of having children
Most couples would have already discussed the possibility of having children before they got married. Your choice will affect the way you set your budget and the way you save money significantly. 

If your combined income is not very high and you wish to have children, you must speak with your spouse about adjusting your standard of living so you can accommodate one more mouth to feed in the house. Also, will you be a single or dual-income family after children arrive? How much should you set aside for your child’s education and healthcare needs?

Not discussing taxes
Taxes play a big part when it comes to expenses, so part of figuring out your married finances is also figuring out how you and your spouse will pay for taxes. Make a systematic plan to ensure your taxes are paid for promptly, so that you are ready to do so when it is time to file taxes.

Prioritising materialistic wants over needs
If both parties are concerned about keeping up an appearance, they could end up overspending on things that don’t matter from luxury cars to property or fine dining. It is always important to remember that your relationship and family come first in your marriage. Set goals that are family-centric to prevent yourself from going overboard in your chase for a better lifestyle.

Not thinking about deaths/emergencies
Newly weds might not like to discuss death and illness but the reality is that you are not invincible. Make sure you have an emergency plan to cover your financial needs in case one person falls ill or passes on first. Such plans range from having a will, buying home and health insurance policies, and also diversifying your income.

This article was first published on AsiaOne.