Ideas & Advice

7 ways you're letting social media sour your marriage

If you don't want your marriage to go south, these are the things you shouldn't be posting on your social media accounts.
 


Copyright: vladteodor / 123RF Stock Photo

Keep it private
We think it's always better NOT to air your dirty laundry in the open; it's always best to settle relationship and marital issues privately. Avoid, hints, clues or suggestions (read: no passive/aggressive statuses!), or, even better, avoid any mention of your relationship on Facebook or Twitter unless it's something positive!

If you've got an issue with your other half, speak to him directly rather than blare it out on social media platforms. If you're still unable to resolve the issue, ask good friends, parents and siblings for advice privately.

Be open!
This applies to status and relationship updates. At times, your post may seem innocuous enough, but it may actually affect your other half negatively. Besides being open with each others' social media accounts (i.e. you should add each other at least, but please stop at sharing passwords - you'll still want and need a little privacy here), sometimes it's best to discuss what you plan to post with your other half first, to see if there any sensitivities involved (i.e. respect each other's boundaries).

This includes relationship status updates on Facebook, unglamorous pictures (like a shot of him sleeping or something), or even pictures of you two doing something ('cause you never know, he might not want to show his friends or the world what he's actually up to at that moment). This may mean less spontaneous posts, but if it helps minimise friction, then it's worth the effort.

See also: AVOID THESE STATUS UPDATES ON SOCIAL MEDIA WHEN PLANNING YOUR WEDDING!

 

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Be mindful

Newlyweds and couples love to post tons of happy quotes and pics when they're in their honeymoon phase; but once things get rocky, the posts vanish and the accounts fall silent. As much as we like to shout to the world how happy we are, be mindful of what we post, and how frequently. A change in the tone of your posts, or lack of posts, will be obvious and noticed by all your friends. So take note, especially the tone and frequency of your posts.

 

There's no need to feed into any speculation about your marriage or relationship to busybodies. On that note, please do not exchange personal, lovey dovey messages publicly (i.e. on each other's walls). Those should be kept strictly between you two. While it's nice to celebrate love, we don't need to know every single detail about it.

See also: WATCH OUT FOR THESE 5 COMMUNICATION MISTAKES THAT CAN HURT YOUR RELATIONSHIP

 

Brace for criticisms
Sometimes even the most innocent posts can face a barrage of criticisms and insults. It can be over the smallest detail that you didn't notice or were aware of. If you're going to be happily posting things away, then brace yourself. Whatever others say, you should not allow their comments to affect your relationship with your fiance or husband.

Image: dolgachov/123rf.com

Don't get obsessed
We've all seen couples in public glued to their mobile phones, lost in their own social media worlds. An obsession with social media can kill a relationship fast - it means less time sharing and bonding with each other. Make it a point to put aside your social media pursuits when you are together physically, and spend more quality time together. Or do a digital detox by organising regular offline activities with your other half. And check out these fun date ideas that are perfect for homebodies

Don't be oversensitive
We've talked about how your posts and statuses may affect your fiance so far, but in the same vein, don't get too worked up about your other half's social media interactions too. For instance, if he liked the status of another girl, don't overthink it, or blow it out of proportion. If you're uncomfortable about his friendship with said person, bring it up to him and voice your concerns offline.

Unfaithful opportunities
Social media creates many opportunities for couples to stray; you get to meet attractive people online and in some instances, share more of your life with an interested stranger than with your husband (or an ex-boyfriend who you've remained friendly with). These interaction may eventually lead to infidelity and possibly divorce. (See also: Trust in your marriage - 7 tips to keep in mind)

Social media can also lead to distrust, especially if your partner notices attractive "friends" on your feed making comments - people he never knew about. So it's very important that you share with each other any developments on your social media, even if it's just casual updates. Being open about your accounts, friends, posts and comments will help build trust in the relationship.

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