Ideas & Advice

6 reasons why pre-wedding counselling might save your marriage

Many couples don't see the need for pre-wedding counselling before their big day. If they have been happy enough in their relationship, then there shouldn't be any problems after tying the knot right? Not necessarily.

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The dynamics of your relationship can change after marriage: there can be unspoken expectations of married life, and setting up a home together can bring about unforeseen stresses that were never there before. Here's why pre-wedding counselling is a good idea for couples planning to tie the knot soon:


You learn to communicate effectively


Communication is the key to maintaining the good ties between couples as they evolve. People change as they grow older, and they change even within a relationship. With change comes different perspective, expectations and needs. It's vital then to communicate to your other half the changes you are experiencing and going through and vice versa. This helps both of you adapt to change and evolve together in the relationship, building stronger bonds as you go along.

See also: Don't let these 10 bad habits ruin your relationship

Solving issues

No relationship is perfect; every relationship, and partner, has its thorns and issues that you adapt and compromise to. These relationship, or personality issues, may have seemed insignificant in the budding years of your romance but they can blow up to be major concerns after you get married. So its best to nip the problem (or issue) in the bud when you can. 

Pre-wedding counsellors who are trained to handle such relationship problems will be able to guide you through all these issues. You may never be able to resolve some of them but at least confronting the issue will allow both of you to acknowledge that no one, and no relationship, is perfect; that every relationship is a mix of accommodation, compromise and love.

See also: questions to ask yourself before you get married.

Sorting out your priorities

One of the main ingredients for a good relationship and marriage to progress effectively is to have priorities that are sync.  You may know what you want from your marriage but you may not be able to define them clearly. A good counsellor would be able to do that for both of you, and help you see if these priorities are in sync with what your expectations for marriage are.  These shared priorities will help serve as a guide for the growth of relationship.

Defining your values for married life

Everyone has different values and these values dictate the way we think and see our lives. Sometimes two people can share the same values but this doesn't mean that they can see eye to eye on every matter. Defining your values clearly will help you decide on which ones are important to both of you, and values you hope to instil in your children in the future if you have any. Pre-wedding counsellors will help your discover what your values are and what they mean within the context of your relationship and future married life.

See also: why you should take time to talk to your other half before marriage.

Understanding your relationship

People enter relationships and marriage for different reasons.  Pre-wedding counselling can help discover what your relationship really means to each of you; by doing so you might realise that there are certain aspects of your relationship that you never, ever saw from your partner's perspective.  Understanding his, and your own perspective, can help you work together on problems before they become serious. Understanding your relationship can also help you appreciate more what you have together. 

See also: 4 signs to see if you're ready for marriage.

Someone to talk to

No matter how close you are to your partner, sometimes its difficult to open up or discuss with him about certain issues. Sometimes you need to talk confidentially to a neutral party who understand these issues and will be able to dispense advice professionally. A pre-wedding counsellor will be able to lend a ear and advise you on how to handle theses privately until you feel you can speak to your partner about it.

See also: this Singaporean programme designed to help young couples prepare for marriage.