Taffeta bustier gown with rosette-embellished skirt, from My Dream Wedding. Suit and shirt, from Rico-A-Mona. Photo: Her World Brides June 2014.
Your wedding is something between you and your husband, and no one else should decide for you what you want for your big day.
But it is as much your parents’ day as it is yours. So before you start laying your wedding plans, start talking to both sets of parents and find out if they’ve got any requests or expectations that you can heed or consider.
Here’re our top tips:
1. Find a good time to discuss what you all want
When you’re all calm and open to discussing matters, it’ll help facilitate the discussion and decision-making process much better. To that extent, don’t go into the meeting adamant on realising your vision. Certain things will have to give.
Depending on the item or issue in question, compromise is key, but not to the point where you lose your overall vision.
If you’re covering most or all costs for the wedding, you’ll have a larger say in the decision-making process. If your family members or parents are contributing towards a large part, then you’ll have to take their preferences into consideration as well.
3. Be firm
It’s your wedding after all, and you have to like it. If the discussion isn’t going as expected (i.e. in a direction you’re not comfortable with), you have to make sure it’s communicated. That, or tell them you’ll get back to them at a later date, for you both to reconsider the decision. If you’ve got a relative who’s acting like a bridezilla on your behalf (read: hijacking your wedding), make sure they know who’s in charge.
4. Let go
We’ve emphasized this several times, especially when it comes to projects you can’t finish on time, and so on. If there’re certain things you don’t care much for, don’t fight it.
5. Assign roles
Even if you can’t agree on some of your parents’ expectations eventually, give them roles in the planning process. They’ll still feel involved, and you can gently steer them in the direction you want, while they’re working on it.