From The Straits Times    |


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1. You have unrealistic expectations
The problem: We all have certain expectations and ideals when it comes to what we want out of a marriage or relationship. For example, you might think that your husband should be financially supporting you more, but he doesn’t agree. When our expectations aren’t fulfilled, arguments can sometimes occur, causing constant friction in a relationship.

The solution: Talk it out and see if your expectations are valid. Often times, there’s always a work around to certain expectations.

See also: 6 reasons why pre-wedding counselling might save your marriage

2. You compete
The problem: You have a tendency to compete with your partner in segments of your life such as work, money and achievements.

The solution: Separate work life from home and change your mindset. Realise that a marriage or relationship isn’t about competition but supporting one another.

See also: how to have a happy, successful marriage with these tips

3. You stop putting in the effort
The problem: After being married for years, it’s easy to get comfortable and complacent when it comes to maintaining and sustaining the excitement in the relationship.

The solution: Take a step back and realise that a marriage is a constant work in progress. Listen to your partner and anticipate their needs. Once in a while, make it a point to surprise them and take the initiative to do something special for them too. It’ll make them feel special and it might reignite the spark between you both.

See also: 3 things not to take for granted in your marriage

4. Your partner, your punching bag
The problem: There’s a difference between your partner listening to your problems and being your punching bag. It’s easy to view your partner as an outlet to drop all your emotional baggage on because you’re familiar with them. But too much can cause your partner to feel like he’s being emotionally abused and no one really wants to have to deal with that.

The solution: Understand that your partner isn’t your punching bag and learn to separate work and home life. Once you’re at home, stop complaining about work or whatever it is that’s bothering you. If you can’t, try and find other outlets to relieve the stress and frustrations you feel.

See also: 10 tips to making your relationship work

5. You neglect your partner’s needs
The problem: With our hectic lives, it’s easy to forget to pay attention to our partners and realise their needs. We’re often putting work ahead of the people we love and tend to forget their need for attention and affection from us.

The solution: Make it a point to spend time with them, and talk to them. During meal times, switch your phone off to fully concentrate on your partner and really enjoy being in his company.

See also: 4 things that will kill your relationship

This story was first published on www.womensweekly.com.sg.