Let’s face it – some boo-boos that happen under the sheets are downright embarrasing to ask about, much less discuss with your hubby. Sometimes, women think the problems are uncommon or unheard of, and choose to suffer in silence.
The truth is, most of these problems can be easily solved with medication or a few tweaks to your love-making habits. So we turn to experts to get rid of those bedroom kinks once and for all.
Your queries, answered for you with this handy expert guide. Image: Getty Images
1. MY VAGINA LEAKS LIKE A TAP DURING SEX? IS THIS NORMAL?
Yes. Sexual arousal activates the vaginal glands, which produce vaginal fluid, say doctors. The clear, odourless fluid prepares your body for penetration and helps to boost your below-the-belt sensitivity. Most of the time, your hubby would be silently congratulating himself for pushing all your right buttons but getting too wet can cause him to slip out too easily as well. The lack of friction can also reduce your sexual sensation.
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Women tend to produce more fluid during ovulation, but if excess wetness is something new, you should see your doctor. The cause can be a vaginal infection, say doctors.
Warning signs of a vaginal infection: A foul- or “fishy”-smelling fluid can indicate bacterial infection, while a curd-like discharge that causes itching can mean a fungal infection. To confirm if you have an infection, and what causes it, a doctor will perform a vaginal swab test.
Excess wetness can also be due to being on the Pill. The oestrogen content stimulates your vaginal glands to produce more fluid. In such a case, you may want to consider other forms of contraception. If the large amount of fluid is not caused by the Pill or infection, the two of you may want to consider changing your foreplay pattern, such as reducing clitoral stimulation.
2. I RECENTLY GAVE BIRTH AND CAN’T FEEL ANYTHING DURING SEX NOW!
Weakened pelvic muscles are the cause of your woes. During pregnancy and labour, the pelvic muscles that support the uterus and bladder undergo a lot of stress and strain from the growing womb. This can damage muscle fibres, especially during vaginal birth. The stretched vaginal tissues may not be able to regain their tightness entirely, so sexual sensation is diminished.
This condition gets worse with more vaginal births, big babies or being too long in labour. What’s more, during episiotomy (an incision made to enlarge the vaginal opening), some fibres may be cut. Although the muscles will regenerate after the procedure, it is important to do pelvic exercises as recommended by your doctor, to quickly strengthen them.
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Kegel exercises: Designed to strengthen the muscles in the pelvic floor – help in 30 to 50 per cent of all lax pelvic muscle cases, say doctors. The only caveat: it has to be done 100 to 150 times a day for it to be effective.
Or opt for core training exercises to strengthen your pelvic, spine and abdominal muscles. Try the following workout while watching your pre- bedtime TV:
- Lie on your right side. Rest head on the right hand and prop yourself up with the right elbow.
- Bring your left leg over the right, keeping it bent at a 90-degree angle, and with the sole of your left foot on the floor.
- Straighten your right leg and slowly raise it as high as possible while keeping toes pointed.
- Perform four sets of 15 repetitions. Turn over and repeat on your left.
Surgery is another option. Fixing a lax vagina costs between $4,000 and $8,000, while a pelvic floor repair for a prolapsed uterus and bladder costs between $5,000 and $8,000.
3. WHY DO I FART DURING SEX?
Again, blame childbirth. It stretches the vagina and weakens anal sphincters (the muscles surrounding the anus). During sex, the penis rubs against the anus through the vaginal wall and the constant thrusting motion can trigger gas that weakened sphincters can’t control from leaking out. Non-mothers too can get weakened anal sphincters due to previous anal surgery or age.
Some women also find themselves producing vaginal farts during sex. The walls of the vagina are usually touching unless something holds them open. If air gets into the vagina during sex, it comes out in a sudden puff when the vagina walls close together again. The sound produced is similar to a regular fart, hence the name, vaginal farts.
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Common sense prevails here. Try not to eat foods like garlic, onions and beans as these tend to lead to more flatulence. Pelvic floor or core training exercises can also help. Lastly, don’t flex your hips too much during sex as this gives you less control of your sphincters.
4. WHY IS THERE A BURNING SENSATION IN MY VAGINA AFTER HE EJACULATES?
You may be allergic to your hubby’s semen, particularly the proteins in it. Besides the burning sensation, other symptoms include pain and redness in the vagina. In the worst-case scenario, some women may even have breathing difficulties and hives. Semen allergy can cause serious tension in the sexual intimacy between a couple, and it’s best to seek medical advice and help.
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Barrier methods, such as using a condom, are the best for avoiding direct semen contact. Your hubby should wear the condom before foreplay since there can be semen leakage. The allergy can also be treated by desensitising women to their partner’s semen. Like any immunotherapy, the woman will receive injections with low doses of her partner’s semen to increase her tolerance. Women who have such allergies, and are thinking of having kids, can consider artificial reproductive techniques such as in-vitro fertilisation.
5. WHY DO I GET A HEADACHE DURING ORGASMS?
Sex can cure headaches but it can also give you one. One of the most common causes of sex headaches is rising blood pressure that peaks at the time of an orgasm. This type of sex headache probably occurs because of the sensitivity of the blood vessels in the brain to changes in blood pressure, say doctors. Muscular sensitivity can also cause a dull tension-type headache before an orgasm.
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There are several ways to get around a sex headache.
- For prevention, propranolol and indomethacin can help. Propranolol is a medication commonly prescribed for hypertension while indomethacin is a non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drug. But no drug therapy has been proven to be 100 per cent successful, so you may want to discuss your options with a doctor.
- Or assume a passive role during sex: There is less muscle tension and a smaller increase in blood pressure, hence less pain for people prone to this problem.
- See a doctor if the headache doesn’t go away. Sex headaches usually go away on their own, but you should see a doctor if the problem is persistent. It could signal a more serious problem such as bleeding in the head.
6. MY LABIA SOMETIMES GET CAUGHT DURING SEX. ARE THEY TOO BIG?
Well, yes and no. Most doctors will probably tell you that your labia are normal-sized as long as you’re happy with the way they look and function. However, some women with too long or too large labia find theirs being dragged painfully into the vagina during sex, especially if they are not wet enough during penetration.
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- Get your hubby to be gentle and use a lot of lubricant to prevent the labia from being pulled in.
- Opt for labiaplasty: If not, you may want to consider this surgical procedure, which is becoming more common for women who suffer from this condition. The procedure, which lasts about an hour, involves using a laser to shape and reduce the size of the labia. But at $12,000 per treatment, it is not something every woman can afford.
This article was originally published in Her World Brides September to November 2011.
