Bridal games that Singapore grooms playSingapore groom Raymond Lim was made to eat a stuffed chilli at his wedding ragging games. PHOTO: SAMANTHA NOH | THE STRAITS TIMES

One of the most popular reads in Her World Brides is the Wedding Albums section where we showcase real wedding celebrations. The pictures submitted by our readers are usually edited – we ask only for the best shots to be featured in the magazine. But there are times when readers do send us an entire album of pictures which include some not-too-pleasant shots. 

When shortlisting these pictures, I am sometimes shocked by pictures of the gatecrashing ceremony. 

For those not in the know, this traditional Chinese ceremony happens when the groom (and his entourage) goes to the bride’s house early in the morning to ‘collect’ and bring her to his home for the tea ceremony.

In order to ‘collect’ her, he has to endure a series of dares set by the bridesmaids who prevent him from going into the bride’s house.

These dares, and ‘obstacles’, may range from simple truth or dare questions to more elaborate pranks that involve dunking the groom in a swimming pool or snacking on raw  green peppers. The whole idea is to test the groom’s resolve and determination to get his wife.

But some of these pranks seem to go too far! I have seen a groom dancing in public dressed only in his boxer shorts, another was pictured licking whipped cream off the nipples of his groomsmen (that’s just yucky!) and a poor guy had rude words and visuals painted on his bare torso! 

There is a very fine line between humour and humiliation. All these pranks are done at the expense of the groom (sometimes even his groomsmen aren’t spared) and close friends and family members (even the bride herself) may find them hilarious. But to have these embarrassing pictures shown to the public, worse to submit them for publication in a magazine, shows a lack of taste.

Perhaps these pictures could have been kept private and save everyone, especially the groom, from some public humiliation?

The most inspiring pictures we received are touching, romantic visuals that showcase the couple in their happiest, most loving moments. They don’t include pictures of people in pain or anxiety, no matter how funny the pictures supposed to be.

So have all the fun you want with your gatecrashing ceremony but be mindful of who to show those pictures to, and whether they are fit for public consumption.

If you want something meaningful, or romantic, for your gatecrashing activities, here are some tasteful options:

– Sing a love song (alone or with your groomsmen) to woo the bride out of her room, or to touch the bridesmaids into letting you in the house.

– Pledge your love with a poem or monologue that will melt even the hardest hearts.

– Flirt, badger and joke your way into the house, using humour in a witty way.

Got any wedding-related questions? We’re happy to help! Please drop us an e-mail at sthio@sph.com.sg should you wish to submit your queries. Please note that your queries and our responses may be featured in the magazine, or on the website.