Top 10 worst wedding gifts

Certainly your wedding day does not revolve around the gifts you receive – there are much more important things to consider. But what happens when the gift list you registered at your favourite department store is ignored by your wedding guests and they instead let themselves loose in a gift-buying frenzy? Your dreams of a spa day or shopping spree are out of the window and the following 10 weirdest gifts have taken their place…

1. His and hers clothing
His and hers bathroom sinks are one thing, but matching clothing? Not quite as appealing. Giving a newly married couple his and hers’ shirts or sweaters as a wedding gift could just be one of the worst decisions a wedding guest could make. The only thing that could make this gift worse is if the ill-advised gift giver made the clothing themselves, which would only increase the newlyweds’ guilt for not wearing the matching fashion road kill.

2. Personalised jewellery
Similar to Joey and Chandler’s personalised friendship bracelets in the sitcom FRIENDS, real life versions are just as awkward and undesirable. Receiving such a gift on the happiest day of your life could fast turn things around and leave you feeling somewhat deflated. Jewellery can be expensive, and in itself it is a gift that many would gladly receive. But tarnishing it with an engraving as cheesy as a bag of Cheetos is no way to win the approval of newlyweds. Save the personalised jewellery for the under-10s.

3. A pet
As much as we love pets and agree that they can be the perfect surprise gift, burdening newlyweds with an excitable pup or needy kitten could just be the worst wedding gift there is. Loading a pet onto a couple who had not otherwise accounted for a new member to the family could end badly. Newlyweds will be thinking about their honeymoon and new life together, not re-budgeting for pet food and giving up their free time to house train a small animal. As cute as a puppy wearing a bow will look when the happy couple retrieves it from the gift box, the aftermath won’t be quite as rosy.

4. Hideous home furnishing
A couple’s home is very personal; filled with romantic snapshots, souvenirs from special holidays and home accessories they have chosen together. So a garish gift for the home, such as a hideous piece of art or ugly vase is not only a bad wedding gift, it’s an insult to the newlyweds’ tastes. Why anyone would think a life-size figurine of a dog or a collection of garden gnomes is a suitable wedding gift is beyond reason. Not only is a garish home accessory a waste of money, but it also means the married couple will have the pain of having to put it on display every time the wedding guest comes to visit!

5. Course enrollment
We agree that it’s important for couples to spend time together and share hobbies, but enrolling a married couple on ‘cross stitch for couples’ or a ‘newlywed nude painting’ course will not be the first thing they had in mind for post-wedding activities. A spa break, wine tasting day or afternoon cooking class would be more appropriate.

6. An unwanted gift card
Gift cards can make a great gift – as long as they’re for a store that the recipient likes. Being lumbered with credit for a store you don’t even like is disappointing – the gift card will most likely be burning a hole in your pocket but you’re stuck when it comes to spending it. What a waste, huh?

7. Concert tickets
As generous as it is to give a couple concert tickets as their wedding gift, if they’re for an act that the couple would choose to watch paint dry over going to see, then it’s definitely worst wedding gift material. Buying tickets to a heavy metal concert for a couple who love pop music, or booking seats for the ballet when they’re into cheesy musicals is not what we would call smart gift choices. Time is precious, so making newlyweds sit through three hours of hell so as not to offend the gift-givers isn’t the ideal evening a husband and wife could share.

8. Unwanted home goods
Gone are the days when couples would marry then move into their marital home together. Nowadays, it’s more common for couples to live together beforehand, make their love nest, and then get married. In this case, receiving a second kettle, microwave and toaster for an already equipped home is about as useful as a chocolate wedding ring.

9. Baby paraphernalia
One thing at a time, right? We understand that parents and siblings will be excited by the prospect of becoming grandparents, aunts and uncles, but buying baby gifts and equipment as a wedding gift isn’t the way to make the happy couple start a family. Any gifts that detract from the celebration of a wedding are no-go areas, so that rules out all baby-related gifts and gadgets.

10. Kinky gifts
There are certain things that should be left up to the bride and groom to buy for themselves; we’re talking kinky lingerie, sex toys and role play outfits. Any wedding gift that is a nod towards the wedding night should be forbidden territory for wedding guests when it comes to choosing gifts. The embarrassment and horror a bride and groom will experience when unwrapping such a gift will never be lived down – particularly if the wedding gifts are opened in front of family and friends. Cringe!