Making a lifetime commitment to someone and planning for the costliest celebration of your life?
There will be arguments, and there might even be emotional breakdowns – all of which does not mean that this marriage is not meant to be.
So what are the signs that your jitters actually mean something more than just wedding planning anxiety?
Everyone is more excited about your wedding than you are
If you’re finding it hard to muster up happiness and excitement about the wedding, you need to be honest with yourself and question why this is so.
Maybe the fuss made over weddings are simply not your cup of tea and you want to get it over and done with so that you can be married, stat.
Whatever the reason, now is as good of a time as any to be open with yourself. Share how you feel with your partner and work it out before things proceed further.
Photo by Asdrubal luna on Unsplash
Thinking about the wedding fills you with dread
There is a difference between dreading giving a speech at your wedding and dreading to be married.
Needless to say, dreading the idea of spending the next fifty years or so with your fiancé makes for a huge red flag.
Your friends’ reactions are a mixed bag
Try this: Voice your worries to your friends and see how they respond.
If they are immediately reassuring, telling you that you’ve made the right choice then all is more or less fine. But if their first reaction is more along the lines of “I saw this coming”, you may want to approach the issue of your jitters more seriously.
While your friends would not want to actively interfere with your decisions, they might be encouraging you to talk about it more in order for you to delve deeper into those lingering doubts.
So, what can you do?
Dr Lim from the Dr BL Lim Centre for Psychological Wellness in Gleneagles Hospital says:
“There are always issues arising as a result of the wedding and it is indeed something very stressful prepare for. The anxiety that you may be having can sometimes cause you to magnify even small issues.
It is never too late to discuss them in the open with your partner and to iron the kinks out. If there are issues that may potentially be irreconcilable, it may be best to postpone the wedding and to explore these issues first.
Try this: Project yourself five years later and imagine one scenario where you are with him and another where you are without him in your life.
Ask yourself which would give you regrets and you will have your answer.
Getting married is may be disconcerting as you are closing a chapter of your life but choosing to avoid commitment will lead to an even greater regret.”