Image: Iurii Sokolov/

#1 You tend to use the wrong tone of voice 

When it comes to talking to your partner about certain touch subjects, make it a point to watch your tone when you speak. 

Our minds tend to respond automatically to certain topics more passionately when we disagree or have strong opinions on so it’s best to watch your tone less you want to sound judgemental when speaking to your significant other. And if you’re on a subject that you know that your partner is sensitive about, keep your tone light or neutral. Or better yet, don’t touch on it unless you absolutely have to. 


#2 You stop asking interesting questions

Remember all that passion and curiosity you had for your other half when the both you started dating? 

As with most dates, you tend to ask plenty of interesting questions, flirt a little and even throw in a cheeky joke once in a while. 

Relationship experts believe that these sort of banters strengthen relationships and keep things fresh between you and your partner. 

See also Fall in love again! 8 ways to keep your marriage alive

#3 You don’t actively listen 

Actively listening works best when you’re arguing with your other half. 

Most of the time, when arguing, we tend to not actively listen and instead, be fixated on certain thoughts we already have about the situation. 

So, what do you do? Before you add in a response that might set your partner off even more, listen to what they have to say and repeat it back to them. if they agree, proceed with your response. 


#4 You avoid having conversations

We totally get it. With our busy schedules, it’s hard to carve out quality time to sit and have a decent conversation with our significant other. Throw in kids into the mix and you hardly even have time for yourself. 

However, superficial conversations like the ones we regularly have on text or email can comestimes lead to misunderstandings and a distorted sense of communication. 

No matter how busy you are, try to set aside time to spend with your other half and go on dates too.

See also: Don’t get married for this reason!

#5 You tend to take your partner for granted 

When you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, it’s easy to take advantage of the person you’re with. At the start of the relationship, we tend to look at our partners through rose-coloured glasses and think of them as being amazing. But by the time you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, you might have lost your appreciation for the person you’re with. 

Make a conscientous effort to put yourself in your partner’s shoes, or show your appreciation through your actions. Remember, even little gestures matter. 

A version of this article originally appeared in The Singapore Women’s Weekly