The mention of a trust in a relationship and fidelity comes to focus. Sure, being faithful plays a huge part but building trust in a marriage or any intimate relationship encompasses much more than that.
#1 IT STARTS WITH YOU
Are you credible and dependable? Do your words and actions match? Do you make promises at the drop of a hat that you forget about, or do you consistently follow through with them? Backing up your words with action helps build an atmosphere of stability and assurance.
Alarm bells won't go off if you forget once or twice, but do it often enough and you could be sabotaging your relationship.
And if you think you can't keep to your word? Just refrain from making that promise.
#2 DON'T KEEP SECRETS
Each time one person decides to "conveniently forget" mentioning something, it puts up a small barrier. It doesn't even have to be a huge secret, but something seemingly harmless like staying out for a round of drinks with friends.
When you're open with one another, it shows that you value integrity and an interest in keeping your lines of communication open.
Getting away with a small fib can also be dangerous because 1) It becomes a habit 2) the deceitful partner feels they can continue to lie about about other things because he or she won't get caught.
#3 GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO PUT YOUR PARTNER AT EASE
Insecurities can get the better of most of us sometimes, and this includes your spouse. Say you have a close working relationship with a co-worker that you partner isn't comfortable with. In this instance, instead of dismissing your partner's worries, introducing your colleague can help allay his or her concerns, show that you have nothing to hide, and that you prioritise how they feel.
#4 BE HONEST ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS & FEELINGS
Many people see being emotionally vulnerable as a weakness or something frightening for fear of getting hurt, especially if they've been hurt in the past. But it's a key ingredient to a lasting relationship. When you open yourself up to be vulnerable with your significant other and vice versa, like sharing your innermost fears and thoughts, it creates a deeper sense of connection and mutual understanding. And when you ask for his or her opinion or views, it tells the other party you value their opinions.
And by that, we don't mean just waiting for the turn to speak, but to be in tune with what your partner is saying. To nurture trust in the relationship, both parties should be able to communicate freely about their feelings, worries and fears without getting criticised, put down or judged by the other person. This means putting aside your own values and judgement so you're completely focused on the other party's needs, particularly during difficult or uncomfortable conversations.
#6 ASK, DON'T INTERROGATE
We've all come across that stereotypical scenario of a wife raining questions on her husband, "Where did you go? What did you do? Why did you come home so late?" You get the gist. Getting hit with a barrage of questions can feel more like an interrogation. Instead, try showing interest in what happened and not what the other party did. Taking their word at face value also shows support.
Be mindful of your tone, too. A skeptical or accusatory tone can shut someone out, and keep them from wanting to bring up a particular topic again. Watch out for these 5 communication mistakes that can hurt your relationship.
#7 ADMIT WHEN YOU'RE WRONG
Apologising sucks, even when you know the fault is yours. But don't let your ego get in the way of asking for forgiveness.
They might not be happy with you right after the apology, but they'll also come to respect you for mustering the courage to admit that you're in the wrong.