#1 My fiance just lost his job, which means we’ll have to postpone our December wedding until late next year. The problem is that we’ve already mailed out part of the invitations. Do we have to send everyone a printed announcement now, and what should it say?
First, look at how much cancelling the wedding will set you back, considering too, how much money you’ve already spent. We’re assuming that you would have paid deposits for some things, like your dinner, gowns, flowers, perhaps even your bridesmaids’ dresses. That’s a lot of money to kiss goodbye to.
It might be smarter to try to meet your vendors and see how and where you can pare down your spending and have a simpler wedding. Or ask your parents if they can help with a loan.
If you’d still prefer to postpone, either mail announcements or make phone calls to each invited guest. We think the latter is better and more immediate. You don’t have to be specific, just say that you’re postponing the wedding because of unforeseen circumstances, and ask for their understanding.
#2 We only have a budget for a tea reception but my mum thinks it’s “cheap” to serve finger food like sandwiches. What’s a good compromise minus the eight-course deal?
Traditionally, our parents will always want an elaborate dinner to show that we can afford to marry in style. If yours refuse to budge, explain to them firmly that you’d like to save the money for your new home. Then work out a solution by checking with the hotel if you can include other, more “substantial” food eg. Can you combine finger food with a rice or noodle dish? Hotels generally present their food well, so the reception can look expensive and generous- which should help appease your parents.
#3 Who pays for the flower girl’s and ring bearer’s clothes?
Traditionally, in western cultures, the parents of the little darlings foot the bill. Here, attendant’s clothes and accessories like flower baskets and ring pillow go on the bride’s tab.
#4 A friend addressed her invitations in hand-written calligraphy. I’m doing mine with the computer. Would this look tacky?
Not if you choose a nice font (and there are many available now) and print it directly on the envelope. We'd skip printing names and addresses on adhesive labels and then sticking them on to the envelopes- that’s tacky! The great thing about using the computer: you’ll save time, and have a consistent script throughout. Just be sure to check for any inaccuracies.
#5 Is it all right if I don’t invite my sister’s boyfriend?
Technically, you don’t have to invite anyone that you don’t want or don’t like. Its also unnecessary to include “dates” on your guest list unless the date is a fiance or a long-time partner with marriage plans. You might want to balance your desire to exclude your sister’s boyfriend against the bad feelings that may arise with your sister. But if you really feel strongly about this, be honest with your sister. Here are 5 wedding etiquette no-nos brides and grooms should avoid.
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