Qns: We are about to start prepping for our wedding, and I am beginning to be stressed out and anxious as to what to expect. I just feel apprehensive about everything and am fearful that we may face issues during this time. Is there a way to prepare us for what’s coming?
It is normal to be stressed and anxious. After all, you do want everything to go well in order to have a great start to your new life together.

Instead of being fearful and anxious, it would help if you both communicate openly on issues that are important to both of you for the wedding, and, more importantly as a married couple.

Do not get distracted by the drama of the wedding preparation. Instead, focus on why you are doing this (i.e., I want to be with this person that I love). Go to marriage preparation classes or seek pre-marital counselling to ensure both of you are ready to take this big step and receive support during this extremely taxing period of your life.

Qns: The honeymoon night scares me! We’ve never really had a very intimate physical relationship before and now I am just terrified that everything will go bust on our wedding night. Any advice?
It is okay to have anxiety about new things and things we tried for the first time. Speak to your partner about any concern you might have (e.g., worrying about pain, not knowing what to do, etc), have a plan of actions that is comfortable for you. 

Remember the goal of this is for both of you to be physically as close as humanly possible so do not put high expectations that this must be so great, magical or wonderful.

Sexual gaffes and mis-steps are common for couples. Just like you did not know how to communicate and speak to each other initially (or maybe even now), this is something couple needs to learn to be intone with each other.


Qns: We already seem like an old couple, even before marriage! There’s no more spark or sexy excitement anymore! Are there ways I can spark our romance back to life before our wedding?
Maintaining romance requires work. Commit to bringing something new into the relationship (whether it’s a new routine, new hobby, new experiences) regularly.

Re-introduce the things that you both enjoyed together in the early part of the relationship, and have somehow stopped doing so.

Make sure he knows that this is an important element in your relationship, and take turns “surprising” each other. It takes two hands to clap, and the both of you should put in an equal amount of effort for things to work out.


Ho Shee Wai is the Director & Registered Psychologist of The Counselling Place. For more information, go towww.thecounsellingplace.com, or e-mail tcpapt@gmail.com.

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