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Planning a modern wedding sounds mostly fun for us girls – I mean, many of us have dreamt about this our entire lives! Then there’s the other aspect of Chinese weddings – traditional customs and rituals. Of course, there are elder relatives we can turn to for advice but sometimes, you may wind up with different sets of advice. So, we’ve done the legwork and come up with a guide to help you set things straight.
A little nugget of information on the Guo Da Li or Chinese betrothal ceremony, which is the first activity to be checked off your list of pre-wedding activities. The Guo Da Li is a significant ceremony among Chinese wedding customs as it symbolises the groom’s sincerity in marrying the bride and that she will be well taken care of in their marriage.
The Guo Da Li ceremony is usually held between 2 to 4 weeks before the wedding. During the betrothal ceremony, the groom and a matchmaker, or an elder female relative deemed to be of good fortune will present the bride’s family with a variety of gifts that represent fertility and prosperity.
Do note that the list of items may differ based on your dialect group. If the bride and groom are from different dialect groups, the bride typically would have to follow the groom’s. With that being said, here’s the list based on the four major dialect groups in Singapore: Hokkiens, Teochews, Cantonese and Hakka.
Item | Why you need it or what it signifies |
Red and Black basket (Hokkiens), Straw basket (Teochews) | A traditional practice to hold all the ceremony gift items in baskets |
Betrothal Ang Pow | A gift to the parents to thank them for bringing up the bride |
2 pairs of Dragon Phoenix (Long Feng Zhu) wax candles | To be lit up during the hair combing or “Shang Tou” ritual |
A minimum of 6 canned pig trotters or roasted suckling pig/roasted pork | A gift for the mother-in-law |
2 bottles of red wine or hard liquor | A gift for the bride’s father |
Traditional wedding cakes | To be shared amongst friends and relatives |
8-12 oranges | To bring about good luck |
12-16 apples | Symbolize peace |
Peanut and Sesame candies (Teochews) | To have many off-spring soon |
Lao Ma Gor (Bride’s Grandma Cake) | To be skipped if the bride’s grandmother has passed on |
Banana (Teochews) | To bring in children, homophone for “bring” |
Rice candies (Hokkien) | For prosperity |
A pair of coconuts | For multiple generations to come |
Black moss, Fa Cai | To bring about an abundance of wealth |
Charcoal | To wish the bride to be blessed with a good life after marriage |
2 packets of white sesame seeds and 2 cans of tea leaves | To symbolise seeds growing into trees |
A double happiness sticker | To decorate the home |
A red banner | To be hung over the door |
4 pieces of gold jewellery, Si Dian Jin (Teochews) | A gift from the mother-in-law to the bride to welcome her into the family |
Dried longan | To be blessed with a dragon boy |
Red date | For good fortune |
Lily bulbs | Eternal union |
Walnut/Peanut | Harmony within the family |
Lotus seeds | To have many offspring |
Pine tree leaf | Longevity |
Dried tangerine | To bring in more luck |
Dried melon slice | Sweet life together as a couple |
Assorted grains such as red or green beans, soy beans, barley or rice | To bless the couple with abundance of harvest |
See also 9 GORGEOUS KUAS AND CHEONGSAMS OUR REAL BRIDES WORE
Items | Additional Information |
Betrothal Ang Pao | A gift to the bride’s parents to thank them for bringing up the bride |
2 pairs of dragon phoenix candles | To be lit up during the hair combing or “Shang Tou” ceremony |
Roast pork | A gift for the mother-in-law and a symbol and roast pig symbolises the bride’s virginity. |
2 bottles of red wine or hard liquor | A gift for the bride’s father |
Traditional wedding cakes | To be shared amongst friends and relatives |
8-12 oranges | To bring about good luck |
12-16 apples | Symbolises peace |
Seafood (such as sea cucumber, abalone, scallop, shark’s fin, cuttlefish, dried prawn, oyster, mushrooms and fish maw) | To symbolise a long and happy marriage |
A pair of coconuts | Signifies multiple generations to come |
Black moss, Fa Cai | To bring about an abundance of wealth |
A double happiness sticker | To decorate the home |
A red banner | To be hung over the door |
Suan pan zi (Hakkas) | Hakka common delicacy |
A pair of golden dragon bangles (Cantonese) | A gift from the mother-in-law to bride to welcome her into the family |
Jewellery for the bride (Si Dian Jin) | A gift from the mother-in-law to bride to welcome her into the family |
Dried longan | To be blessed with a dragon boy |
Red date | Signifies good fortune |
Lily bulbs | Signifies eternal union |
Walnuts and or peanuts | Signifies harmony within the family |
Lotus seeds | To bless the couple with many offspring |
Pine tree leaf | Signifies longevity |
Dried tangerines | To bring in more luck |
Dried melon slices | To wish the couple a sweet life together |
The returning of gifts ceremony called “Hui Li” is for the bride’s family to show appreciation for the generosity from the groom’s family as well as to share the good fortune (and also in ancient times, to highlight the wealth of the bride’s family so that they weren’t looked down upon by the groom’s side). To ensure the good fortune is shared, here’s a list of what should be in the Hui Li (the list applies to all dialect groups):
Items | Additional Information |
Gifts for the groom (such as belts, wallet, watch, or an ang pao inserted) | A gift for the groom to welcome into the family |
2 bottles of orange juice or syrup | To replace the hard liquor and symbolises good fortune |
A portion of the gifts received from the groom’s family | Typically half of the items will be returned |
Huat Kueh or Fatt Koh (Chinese steamed cakes) | Symbolises prosperity |
Sugarcane (Hokkiens) | |
A ruler | To have many children and grandchildren |
A red umbrella | To shield the bride from any negativity during the Chu Ge (leaving the bride’s house) |
Pants or a suit | Symbolises lifelong good fortune |
Clothing and accessories for the bride | Symbolises fertility |