Ideas & Advice

Decided on a small wedding? Here's how to tell your parents

Your ideal wedding is a small and intimate gathering but you know your parents might have other plans in mind..
 

Image: Her World Brides Dec 2016. Photography: Corbin Gurkin. Planning: Easton Events

You've decided on the wedding of your dreams and it's a small, cosy party with your nearest and dearest... and we can bet wedding prep isn't the first and foremost thing on your mind. You're probably thinking how you can break the news to your folks, especially when you know they're expecting a grand banquet affair. Here's how you can broach the subject, tactfully. 

 

#1 Timing is everything

You don't want to break the news when everyone's stressed out over wedding prep or when you know they're busy - it's a situation that can escalate quickly. Wait til everyone's in a good or relaxed mood to make your announcment. But also, do it sooner rather than later, so they don't go around sending Whatsapp message invites already. 

 

#2 Be understanding, but firm

If you know your folks have expected and are excited about a 300-guest bash, your news can come as a bit of a disappointment. Broach the subject carefully, and list down the reasons why you prefer a low-key or intimate setting - whether it's budget constraints, that your dream venue doesn't allow for a large number of guests, or if it simply doesn't gel with your personalities - so they see where you're coming from. 

See also: 4 CHIC NEW SINGAPORE VENUES FOR INTIMATE WEDDINGS

 

#3 Hear them out 

If they've done you the courtesy of listening to you politely, now is the time to return the favour. See if you can reach a compromise. But regardless of your ultimate decision, it shows that you are willing to take their considerations and opinions into account, and aren't simply brushing them aside. 

 

#4 Keep it clear and concise

Now that they've (kind of) accepted your decision, be precise about the number of guests that both sides of the family can invite - yes, even if it's zero. Inform them of your decision as soon as you can, so they don't come to you later on with a long list of people they "absolutely must invite". 

 

#5 But remember 

It's still your wedding after all, and it should be about the two of your celebrating your union with the people you love. Some parents might offer to chip in to accommodate the extended family members and friends they're planning to invite. But if you're feeling the pressure to agree to it just to please everyone, we suggest you stand your ground. 

But at the end of it all, we're sure they'll be happy to celebrate your joyous occasion on the day itself, whether it's a grand celebration or a cosy affair. 

See also: UNHAPPY BRIDESMAID? HERE'S WHAT YOU SHOULD DO