Most of us would have the basics down – we choose our favourite people to be part of our bridal party and they’re usually our friends, or sisters, or they can even be your ex-neighbour.
What about the other pressing issue behind the making of your bridal party though?
Like who's to be your maid-of-honour? Must there be the same number of sisters and brothers? Should you go with everyone from the same clique or just a few from each group?
The headache is real and we are here to help make it less of a headache with some tested and proven ways to deal with your bridal party formation.
“Can I have more than one maid of honour or best man?”
Yes, there’s no hard and fast rule for this. If you can’t decide between your sister and best friend, it’s perfectly okay to bequeath upon them both the title. In fact, this would even ease the workload since it is shared among more people.
The only tricky part? They might mind sharing the honour with someone else, but cross your fingers that this doesn't happen!
“Do I have to choose a maid of honour or best man?”
Again, there’s no hard or fast rule about this. You can choose to go without a maid of honour as long as you delegate the responsibilities and duties among your bridal party.
“Can I choose to have a bridesman?”
Why not? In fact, this unconventional choice is becoming more common by the day. If you have close guy friends whom you have been bros with since way back and your partner is comfortable with the choice, you can definitely have them as part of your bridesmaids.
Attire wise, we’d suggest suiting him up in the same theme or colour as your bridesmaids. (See: 7 trendy colour palettes for your bridesmaids dresses)
“Must there be an equal number of sisters and brothers?”
There isn’t. (However, if you’re a stickler for symmetry then do not pursue this.)
Traditionally, an even number was preferred as it meant the bridal party could be paired up for the walk down the aisle. Nowadays, the ball is entirely in the bride’s and groom’s court.
Pairing up neatly is fine and all but if you don’t mind say, two bridesmaids walking down with one groomsman, then having any number of sisters and brothers is up to you.
“When’s a good time to start forming our bridal party?”
This could be anytime from right after you confirmed your engagement to after you’ve secured a wedding date and venue. A recommended gauge would be within three to six months after getting engaged.
You can get a better sense of how many people you'll need in your bridal party after you determined the type and size of your actual day celebrations.
“Should I go with a small or large bridal party? / How many people should be in our bridal party?”
There are several factors in this decision:
- Do you prefer an intimate affair or a large wedding bash?
A big banquet celebration means more responsibilities to oversee and it might be overwhelming if you’ve just a bridal party of two. At the same time, having too many bridesmaids at a wedding of fewer than 80 guests will look off-kilter. You probably won't require as much help too.
- Does your wedding budget allow a large bridal party?
You’ll need to supply the attires and red packets during the gate crash ceremony, not to mention the gifts of appreciation and such.
- Will anyone be offended?
Be it being left out or being asked only because you’ve no one else to turn to, bridal party selection is a sensitive matter and it’s one that you’ll need to tackle with sensitivity and sincere consideration.
Is it better to pick everyone from the same clique, or only the ones you are close to in every clique?
This is a common dilemma faced by couples and it is perfectly normal to face this issue. Especially in bigger cliques, there will be people you are closer to than the rest.
There is no perfect, win-all solution but you can tackle it from a matter of priorities and preferences.
- Can you accommodate everyone? Financially and otherwise.
- Do you prefer to have a group where you aren't as close to everyone, but you know they are comfortable with each other, OR a bridal party made of everyone you're close to but do not know each other?
- Are you able to deal with the backlash of just picking those you are close to? If not, and if you can afford it, then for the sake of prosperity, you should go with one entire clique. But only if you can afford it!
The alternative solution to this dilemma is to go entirely without a bridal party and you seek the help of a professional wedding coordinator instead. That way, no one gets offended about your choice and everyone gets to enjoy your wedding as a guest.
We bid you good luck and wisdom in your bridal party selection!