Satin mermaid gown with lace-embellished satin sash, from BRIDAL PLACE. Suit and shirt, from RICO-A-MONA. PHOTO: Her World Brides June – August 2014.
1. Your budget
Money’s a touchy subject, and it’s no different here. While many brides have been dreaming of their big day since they were little girls, it’s less so for grooms. Regardless, your budget (or allocation) should be something both of you agree upon, before getting started on anything. The result should end up with something that’s fair (for instance, splurging on the food or honeymoon – something you both can share – instead of making it a one-sided thing, like the flowers or your wedding dress).
2. Wedding themes
With grooms getting more involved in the planning process these days, they’ll want their opinions considered, too (naturally). If you both can’t agree on wedding themes, colour palettes, or even the type of wedding you’ll be having, take a step back and compromise. List down your priorities, negotiate, and see if anything can be altered slightly, to fit each other’s dream celebrations.
3. The guest list
You envision an intimate lunch reception, while he’s all geared up for a traditional dinner banquet. There’s no right or wrong in this instance. Again, see if there are ways to compromise (i.e. set a fixed number you’re both wiling to work with), and lay down rules like (no non-serious plus ones or colleagues), and stick to it.
4. Bride/groom’s involvement
If you find your other half not pulling his weight in the planning department, don’t fret. He may not be disinterested. All he needs is a little help in the right direction. Take small steps. First ask him what he might be interested in (such as picking out his suit, getting the wedding website done, and so on), then set him out to do it. If he’s genuinely not interested, don’t be disappointed. He may be busy with other things, for instance, settling the paperwork for your future house, planning your honeymoon, and so on. Just allocate a certain time to go over things that need to be decided jointly. At the end of the day, he’ll still feel choked up when he sees you in your white dress anyway.
This isn’t as common in Singapore, and can be seen as a lack of trust in the other party, and the relationship, when it’s usually done. But it’s important that you get it settled, especially if you have several assets between the both of you. Don’t see it as a “curse” before you’re married, but see it as a safety net for *touchwood* emergencies.