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#1 Different ideas
You envision a small intimate wedding with loved ones, he wants to include all his friends and colleagues – which adds up to a huge party. Or you want a garden celebration (See these 9 outdoor cafes for pretty garden weddings) while he prefers a ballroom affair. Well, something’s got to give and the key word here is compromise. For example, you can each write down a list of venue ideas and share them with one another – you may find that some of them are to your liking, after all! Find a common ground that you’re both okay with, and accept that you can’t have everything exactly as you envision.
#2 Budget issues
When you have to fork out a significant sum of money for your big day, money can be point of contention. You want to splash out on the fairy tale gown of your dreams but he wants to spend on the food, or save some of the money on a trip to Santorini. What both parties have to remember – the wedding’s not just about what one party wants, but an equitable deal.
It’s best to set a budget in the early stages of the wedding planning (See this financial blogger’s 7 wedding planning tips) and promise to stick to it. You can each jot down your topmost priorities – if you have the same components, you can spend most of your budget on these. If not, discuss how much to allocate to what matters most to each of you.
#3 Family fights
This one’s definitely where you want to tread carefully on, especially if it concerns the parents, whether or not they are also contributing to the wedding expenses. Family members may make suggestions but if requests start turning into demands that you aren’t comfortable with, it’s up to you to deal with it. Discuss it with your partner and present a united front so you can both communicate the same message to your family members.
#4 Your partner’s not chipping in on the wedding prep
Wedding prep is tough, tedious work. And while it’s perfectly normal for one party to be less than enthusiastic about wedding flowers, it can be a breeding ground for discontentment when you’re slumped over a never-ending guest list or deciding on the favours while your significant other’s lazing on the couch.
If you find your partner shying away from helping out, find out if there’s an underlying issue – like if he or she thinks that it’s “your day”. Or you can find something that your partner might be interested in doing and encourage them to participate.
#5 Bridezilla or Groomzilla behaviour
It can get a little overwhelming to see your partner go from someone who would rather spend time chilling on the couch to a detail-obsessed person who’s flaring up over mismatched centrepieces or the exact shade of wedding white.
Find yourself exhibiting any of these signs or totally neglecting your partner over wedding prep? It may be time to take a step back. After all, it’s the marriage that really matters, not the wedding.