Photo: Anthony Tran on Unsplash
Getting married is something to be excited about, but most people don’t realise that there will be other emotions when you’re embarking on a new journey with your partner, and setting up a new family unit.
And unless you’ve been living with your partner or away from your family for an extended period of time before, you’ll need some time to get over that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that you’ll be going to a new home (whether at your in-laws’ or alone) away from your parents.
#1 Make regular lunch or dinner arrangements with your parents
It’s not goodbye forever once you’re married. And, fortunately for us Singaporeans, Singapore isn’t a big country where even if you move across the island, it’ll probably take you about two hours max to get to your parents’ place (as opposed to a flight or a long drive). No matter where you’re at, it’s not difficult to head home to see your parents frequently if you want to. If you’re moving overseas after marriage, make plans to fly back once every few months or so.
#2 Stay over during weekends (initially)
If you prefer, you can still have your parents save a room for you at your old house, so you can stay over during the weekends. If you’re both living alone, make the arrangements for alternate weekends if your parents are willing.
But also reconsider doing it too often. The more you get used to being away from home, the better you are at coping.
#3 Talk to your husband or friends about it
Don’t bottle it up. It may be possible your new husband doesn’t know what you’re going through, and you don’t want him to think you’re unhappy with him over something you’re unwilling to voice out. Or, you can talk to your married friends who’ve been there done that, for advice. A heartfelt conversation can work wonders.
#4 Keep yourself busy
Work aside, indulge in a new hobby or join a fitness class (it’s a great way to make new friends and as Elle Woods of Legally Blonde so succinctly put it, “exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.”) Be it dancing, gardening, painting or joining a boxing class, doing something you enjoy will help take the blues away.
Photo: Tina Dawson on Unsplash
#5 Make your new home more homey
Part of the reason why you’re feeling this way is probably due to the fact that your new home isn’t quite home yet. Try and give it your personal touch with the decor, a new coat of paint or so on. Go on furniture hunting trips (Read: Under $8K: Millennial couples show how they styled their new home on a budget) with your spouse so you’ll get excited decorating and making your home uniquely yours.
Bringing from your old home, like your old pillows and blanket, or a favourite scent, will help bring a sense of familiarity and security to your new place as you adjust.
#6 Know that it will get better in time
Routine breeds familiarity and once you get used to do doing the same thing over and over in your new life and home, it will in turn make it a safe haven and those feelings of homesickness will subside.
Also read: HOW TO HONOUR YOUR PARENTS AT THE WEDDING