When Contributing Editor Steve Thio came across this blogpost, where there was a dispute between a bride and her guest on seating plans, I was shocked at how incredibly rude the bride was.
Sure, it’s your big day, but when you’ve invited someone to attend your wedding banquet and she’s kindly accepted, surely it’s not much of a stretch to make her feel welcome and comfortable during the reception? Plus, as we all know, weddings in Singapore don’t come cheap, and guests usually tend to fork out their share of the dinner, which can come up to over $100, or even $200.
A quick backgrounder: When Singapore blogger Vet Leow attended the wedding of a friend, E, a fellow blogger, she arrived at the venue only to find no seats were reserved for her, or at least, that seemed like the case. However, after awhile, when no one (including the hotel staff) came to clarify the matter, she quickly left the venue, as the situation was getting awkward. That same night, she received an angry text message from the bride, saying that her behaviour earlier, was rude and quite unnecessary.
While there are two sides to the story (see what the bride has to say here), and we’re not taking any here, I can’t help but feel that the bride should’ve been a tad less accusatory, and more apologetic.
After all, your friend’s accepted the invitation, the least you could do, is ensure that her time spent, be a pleasant one. It really didn’t help the bride’s image that she said that she would “donate the ang pow given, to a charity on the person’s behalf”. That was terribly ungracious.
Here, three lessons we can all learn from this incident:
1. Always have a designated person in charge, or usher to help seat your guests
With Singapore weddings, there’s usually a person at the reception table to let you know your seat number, before you enter the ballroom or venue. While guests can head outside again to clarify the seating arrangements, if you can arrange for a few ushers (usually your bridal party or relatives) to help confused guests, that would really help.
2. Keep your guest informed
If there are 11 people at a table of 10 places, let your guest know. In this case, a baby was in Vet’s seat, and if she’d known of it earlier, this misunderstanding might not have happened.
3. Make the effort to make them feel welcome
The fact that a person’s accepting your invite to your wedding shows that he or she would like to wish you well on this very special day of yours. The least you could do, is make him or her feel welcome. You don’t even have to go out of your way to give your guests the A-list treatment, but common courtesy is absolutely necessary.
At the end of the day, it’s a happy occasion, and everyone should be celebrating. Don’t let trivial matters that could potentially escalate into something unpleasant mar your memories of your big day.