5 things brides do that drive grooms mad

When it comes to planning a wedding, something strange happens to even the most relaxed and laidback women; bride-mania. Grooms see their blushing bride transform into obsessive and sometimes crazed beings once the wedding planning commences. While most grooms wisely keep their opinions to themselves, here is what they would say about their brides if they could let rip:

1. Asking grooms what they’re thinking
It’s a classic example of how women like to test their husbands-to-be, and possibly trick them into making the cardinal sin of admitting that they weren’t thinking about their fiancée or the wedding at that particular moment. One minute the happy couple are enjoying a cuddle, the next moment the bride is hurling that question at their fiancé when they’re least expecting it. They say it so fast that the poor groom doesn’t have chance to make up a false reply or even to think straight, which leads them to stutter and then be accused of thinking of their ex-girlfriend/a sports game/the strippers on their stag do. Brides asking what their guy is thinking is basically a nice way of saying ‘you aren’t allowed to have private thoughts, unless they’re about me or the wedding’.

2. Saying ‘I’m fine’, when they’re not happy
Picture this: blushing bride describing the potential bridesmaid dresses she’s planning to buy, then the groom cuts in with a blasé ‘yeah, they sound lovely, darling’, halfway through the meticulous description. She gets upset, stating that said groom doesn’t care enough about their wedding. Groom then tries to recover his actions by asking if his darling bride-to-be is OK. Then she says it – that passive-aggressive statement that marks the start of the dreaded silent treatment: “I’m fine”. Well, we all know that this isn’t often true. Grooms find this rather annoying as they feel helpless after their bride’s blunt statement. They can’t keep pestering, yet leaving her to her own devices won’t win them affection either. There’s no hope for those poor grooms!

3. ‘No-no’ to sex
Whether it’s down to tiredness from all the wedding planning, a pulled muscle from the pre-wedding workouts, or as an attempt to save sexy time for the wedding night; cutting off a groom’s supply of sex never goes down well. One of the most annoying things that a woman can do is deny her man of sexual privileges. Some women seem to take great pleasure in using a man’s weakness to their own advantage through the classic ‘if you don’t order the groomsmen’s suits this week, we’re not having sex’ scenario. Poor grooms, they just want to be intimate with their future wife, but as always, women have the final say!

4. Being over-emotional
The build-up to a wedding day can be an emotional journey. Not only can it be tiring and stressful, which can be a recipe for teary brides; but it is also a big step in a person’s life and symbolises an awful lot – especially if it means moving out of your family home. Brides cry at beautiful wedding dresses in bridal magazines, a love poem they’ve researched for their vows and will even shed tears while listening to ‘first dance’ song options. This makes grooms feel awkward because they just don’t know what to say or do when their bride is sat sobbing over a pile of bride magazines or CDs. Where do all these tears come from? And if the tears are flowing now, then what will they be like on the actual wedding day, we hear the grooms ask? A tip we’ll share; come the big day, limit the bride’s flow of champagne, and the flow of tears should be kept to a minimum!

5. Incessant wedding talk
We’ve heard that women are estimated to say around 20, 000 words a day – which is an awful lot compared to the paltry 7, 000 estimated for men – so we understand that she needs to get her daily nattering fix, but why is it always at the most inappropriate times? She was quiet all the way through the family dinner when we needed her to break the awkward silence, but as soon as we start getting to the competitive part of a sports game, she just won’t shut up about centrepieces and bridal bouquets. Brides, if you’re going to talk, pick the right moment and please, just get to the point. Grooms don’t want to hear the ins and outs of every colour, flower and fabric option – they just want to know the final choice and cost.