From The Straits Times    |

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PHOTOGRAPHY: Feldberyl Images, tel: 9671 5337 (Wansheng). From Amy and Norman’s wedding.

We can’t say this enough: Nearly every bride forgets to enjoy herself during the wedding planning stages. It happens. And you can tell by these signs: You’re moody for no reason, you get easily irritated, and even having to decide on something small seems overwhelming.

If you’ve ticked all of the above, it’s time to chill. Some of the following stress busters may sound so simple, you might not think they’ll work, but just give it your best shot and you might be pleasantly surprised.

1. Be prepared to relax
If you’re not prepared to let go of things and allow yourself to relax, you won’t. It’s really all in your head.

2. Time off
If you have enough days off from work, plan a day just for yourself, once a week, at least three weeks before the big day. Do whatever you want on those days except talk, think or do wedding-related stuff. Shop, browse in a bookstore, have coffee with your girlfriends, mum, dad – anybody, anything!

3. Do a thoughtful deed – buy your fiance flowers
Yes, men like flowers too, and none better than those from his bride-to-be. Flowers make people feel good. Beautiful bouquets make them feel even better!

4. Do something for yourself
While you’re sending flowers to your fiance, why not indulge in a little something for yourself as well? It’s therapeutic and it works even better if it’s something you’ve been eyeing for a while. Like that gorgeous Jimmy Choos that makes you feel like you’re walking on a plush carpet.

5. Little notes
You may already have a timeline all planned out (start one if you haven’t). Jot down the things that you have to do daily on little post-it notes and paste them on a board, or have a calendar with dates in boxes (the bigger the better) where you can write down the tasks that need to get done. Each time you finish one errand, throw away the post-it, or cancel out a square. You’ll feel inexplicably satisfied, and seeing your tasks diminish one by one will make you feel effective, efficient and in control. You’ll now have more mental strength to deal with stress.

6. Time for a sparty
Again, this calls for some extra cash – but you’re worth every cent. Pamper yourself with your favourite treatment – pedicure, body scrub or just a good old-fashioned massage.

7. Family needs
Experts tell us: in times of stress, have a meal with your family – it’s a good way to relax because you’re in a comfortable environment. Tell your family in advance that no one is to bring up the wedding. And, for extra benefit, make sure all the dishes are your favourite good-mood foods – dig in and pig out (just this once)!

8. Bird’s-eye view
Sometimes, the solution to a problem is a simple case of stepping back or away. It’s very much similar to a relationship, where too much closeness can sometimes result in greater expectations. When you worry too much about your wedding details, you are likely to expect more out of it, hence a “bad” reaction if things don’t turn out the way you want them to.

Stepping away from all that will mean you maintain a healthier, if not better, perspective towards any problem that may crop up in the wedding process. Get into a new hobby or project – nothing too stressful but enough to take your mind off the wedding hoopla. Re-organise your wardrobe or put together a scrapbook of all your fun times with your parents as a gift for them. And by the way, making wedding favours doesn’t count as a new project.

9. Shake it up and out
When you really feel the blues coming on, go for a workout or a long, slow walk. It’s good to exercise, and the activity will help clear your head too – it’s hard to worry about invites when you’re trying hard to catch that next breath while on the treadmill.

10. Hold a film night
And make it a night of romantic comedies. Invite a few friends over to your place, grab a couple of bottles of wine – or whatever works for you – and just relax. Romantic comedies are sweet and “mindless” – and there’s always a happy ending!

11. Sight and smell
It’s unconscious, but colour and smell can and will affect your mood. immerse yourself in your happy colours: Go to a mall with colours you like or wear clothes in your favourite shades. As for scent, buy a bottle of your fave perfume or essential oil, and spray yourself or your linen with it. You’ll feel comforted without realising it.

12. Deep breathing
As we rush around during the day, most of us breathe “superficially” with the chest expanding as we draw breath. The correct way is to breathe such that your tummy expands as you inhale. This is known as deep breathing or diaphragmatic breathing. Find a quiet corner, sit or lie comfortably, close your eyes and inhale deeply and slowly through your nose, then exhale (your tummy should flatten). After a few deep breaths, you’ll a lot more alert. Deep breathing is believed to help promote better circulation because it raises the oxygen levels in the blood. You will thus be able to deal with the stress better. 

This article was first published in Her World Brides Dec 2009 – Feb 2010.