The beauty of beauty treatments in today’s world

I came across this Saturday Night Live skit with Marcello Hernandez and Colin Jost where they talked about how men are more depressed than women because women have better support systems and can tell their best friend anything without feeling judged. Marcello went on to say that he has started opting for a hair salon instead of the barber shop because the hairdressers are more enthusiastic to gossip and share life anecdotes.

I might have gotten some stares for all the chuckling I did while commuting to work; It’s true how women are more emotionally expressive, and perhaps they could be finding a safe space within the beauty industry, where they are at their rawest. I thought about how I’m always keen to go for my beauty appointments, whatever it may be. While I enjoy getting a fresh set of claws or waxed, I always feel refreshed, alive and heard. But is it really surprising?

The intimacy and connection in beauty appointments

I’ve been getting body-sugaring services for my intimate areas since 2020 and the act in itself is such an intimate thing. Although I have scheduled appointments with multiple sugarists over four years, I’ve gotten to know many of them and their stories – why they entered the beauty industry, the hellish clients they have dealt with, their music taste and the tea about their relationships. Since I consider myself a bit of a social butterfly, I enjoyed getting to know each one of them and their stories. 

In a different beauty service, my nail technician was someone that I didn’t know personally either. She was in the year after me in secondary school and I had gone to her in support of someone from my alma mater. We’d been cordial in our first two sessions, but the wall was broken when I opened up about the mental ordeal that I had experienced back in 2022. She had also opened up about her journey navigating life and her growth both as a nail technician and person. We’ve hung out and hit the clubs together before, and I loved hanging out with her in the capacity of a friend. 

There is never a session that I do not look forward to because I know that I would leave the studio being mentally refreshed and renewed over our shared stories, a symbol of it visually encapsulated in the fresh claws on my hands. 

The openness has helped me to trust her direction and vision. I can be considered a helicopter client when it comes to getting beauty services for my nails and hair because looking like my version of perfection has been vital for me. But getting to know my nail technician as a person, while allowing me to find mental therapy, reassures me that the design mood board I’d given for my nail set would come to life the best way she knows how to do it.   

I know I’m not the only one that feels this way. Jynell, a 22-year-old who frequently gets facial treatments, has developed a personal connection with her beautician who provides treatment for her bad acne. During these sessions, Jynell’s beautician would speak with her on a range of topics from travel to relationships, mostly to distract from the pain experienced. To her, the experience of these sessions is influenced by her comfort level since she would have to present the rawest version of herself.

On the same note, 22-year-old Calista gets her nails done with her friend’s sister who is a home-based nail technician. Their bond formed through the long sessions of said technician’s learning stages since time would be taken to perfect the preparation and design of each nail. Despite the nail technician’s level of skill now, these 3-hour sessions have started to feel like a regular catch-up with a friend. Calista even gave tips about her nail technician’s social media strategy which led to the two conversing outside the confines of the appointment. 

The synonymous agreement between Jynell, Calista and myself about how soothing beauty treatments are is unsurprising when you realise that these sessions serve as a form of therapy for women and can alleviate anxiety, depression and self-esteem. 

Being in such an intimate, raw space also strips that cloak we wear when we face the world. Maybe it’s the fact that in order for the best outcome from any beauty treatment and I’d have to be honest about any other treatment done, but I’ve never felt more welcome to be as authentic and real.

What is the motivator?

Speaking with Natasha Ngui, a home-based nail technician, she shared that building deep connections with clients significantly enhances their overall satisfaction and boosts future appointments with them. Building the relationship helps her to become familiar with her client’s preferences based on information gathered in the conversation. And don’t we all love someone who just gets what we want?

She desires to provide them with a non-judgmental space to discuss whatever's on their mind. In the hours she spends with them in the session, she wants to make a difference beyond nail art – she wants to be an attentive listener. Natasha seeks to be happy, welcoming and genuine in all her sessions, showing that she cares for them and whatever bothers them. 

Having done a session with the sugarist that trains the newcomers, I discovered that part of the process is to get the client as comfortable as possible since that alleviates the pain or anxiety felt during treatment with varying methods that work best for each sugarist. This process also includes creating conversation and asking about their day. 

I realised that I subconsciously did that too. When the pain of removal got too much to handle, I would introduce a conversation topic and get to know these sugarists too which made it feel like I was talking to a newfound friend. It also helped me become comfortable with the sugarist I was talking to and allowed me to be more vulnerable to ask for things I usually hesitate on (taking a break because it got too painful). 

Are beauty technicians the rent-a-friend for women?

The more I contemplate how we’re being mentally supported when we go for beauty treatments, the more I realise that it’s a representation of how our friendships could be. In an age where protecting our mental health, talking about our problems to a friend or a loved one might be considered intrusive and even inconsiderate. After all, we have our struggles and that’s enough on our plates. But that shouldn’t limit how much we share, right?

One can argue that these providers rely on kindness in order to make their services attractive to a world undergoing a loneliness epidemic. But Jynell, Calista and my story have shown that real and deep friendships can be formed even from a transactional relationship. 

Perhaps, our beauty practitioners are also remembering that their clientele are human and in need of the care, attention and kindness that may not be present in other aspects of their lives. How many times have we booked a hair appointment in hopes of feeling new again after a break-up? Or gone for a massage when we’re stressed and weighed down by the pressures of our life? Their recognition that a service that feels good physically translates into spiritual nourishment too – and we shouldn't complain.

It prompts us to recognize the importance of being intentional in our relationships, especially with those friends who ask for nothing in return but offer unwavering love and support. In doing so, we acknowledge the inherent value and compensation found within these bonds, enriching our lives in ways that extend far beyond mere transactions.

The lessons learned and the feelings felt during beauty treatments extend far beyond the salon chair. They are reminders of human connection and the immense value of nurturing meaningful relationships built on trust, empathy, and genuine care.