From The Straits Times    |

True Story: "My hubby's mistress harassed me on Wechat."

Photo: Ivan Kruk,

“I met Don* in 2007. He was celebrating his 30th birthday with a lavish party and my friend Amy* asked me to tag along. It turned out to be a small, intimate gathering at a restaurant.”

“I didn’t know many people there, so I stuck close to Amy until she introduced me to Don. ‘Is this my birthday present?’ he asked her, pointing his finger at me.”

“I was stunned by his words, and it took me a moment to process what he meant. I blushed. We spent the whole night flirting with each other. He’s the classic Prince Charming women dream about – tall, handsome, gentlemanly and, not to mention, a very family-oriented person (or so I thought).”


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“After the party ended, Don offered me a ride home as we lived near each other. Later that night, he sent me a text message: ‘Thank you for coming tonight. You’re the best present I’ve ever received.’ I went to bed with a smile.” 

“Don and I spent the next couple of months going out and getting to know each other better. And then we became a couple.”  

“He was the epitome of the perfect boyfriend, and friends and family often used us as an example of what an ideal relationship should be. We gave each other personal space, as we hardly saw the need to check on one another. Six years later, he popped the big question.”

The cracks start 
to show
“You know how people always say all good things must come to an end? I honestly thought that Don and I would be one of those couples who grow old together. But about 10 months into our ‘perfect’ marriage, I discovered he was cheating on me.”

“It was a weekend. He’d posted a picture on Instagram, and asked me to look at it as we headed out for brunch. As I was scrolling through the Instagram feed on his phone, a text message came in, and my blood ran cold.”

“It was sent by someone named Karen* and it read: ‘I know this is not going to last, but spending time with you makes me feel very happy. It was really nice spending the night with you.’”

“My hands were trembling and I couldn’t look away from the text message. ‘It must be a mistake. She must have sent the message to the wrong person,’ I thought to myself.” 

“Don must have sensed that something wasn’t right, as I had gone quiet and still. ‘Are you alright?’ He patted my shoulder, looking concerned.” 


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“I confronted him with the message… and he admitted the affair. ‘This is just a one-time thing, I swear!’ Don pleaded. My whole world came crashing down. I was so overwhelmed by all that had happened in those couple of minutes, I didn’t know how to react.”
“The next couple of days were the worst. I locked myself in our bedroom, and cried all day and night. ‘What went wrong?’ Those three words kept popping into my head. I didn’t understand how my husband could have had an affair. “

“Were we not happy? Had he ever shown signs of being dissatisfied with me? I drove myself crazy with such thoughts. When I finally emerged, I asked to meet Karen. He agreed and set up a meeting.”
“When I saw Karen for the first time, I was shocked at how young she looked. Don told me she was only 20, and that they’d met through an online dating site. Never did I suspect my husband would be on a dating site, looking for another woman behind my back.” 

“The first question I asked her was: ‘Do you know who I am?’ She nodded. ‘Do you know he’s married?’ She said, ‘Yes.’ I was astonished at her bold responses – she didn’t flinch or look intimidated as I confronted her about her affair with my husband.”

Mending the rift
“Don and I were separated for two weeks after that. He would call me and try to mend our relationship, but I told him I needed time and space to think things through.”

“When we finally got back together, we were never the same again. I acted like a mad woman: checking his phone constantly, tracking his every move, and even asking him to report his whereabouts to me.”

“Don was patient with me. He did everything I demanded, and even swore to never see or contact Karen again.”

“For our first wedding anniversary – three months after the affair – he took me to Bali to mend our marriage. We had a lovely time together and, for the first time in months, I felt like myself again. He showered me with so much love during the trip, I truly believed we could make things work.” 

End in sight
“A week after we returned from Bali, I was home alone playing with Don’s iPad when a stream of messages popped up on his notifications bar. To my horror, they were from Karen.”

“I learnt that, even in Bali, they had kept in touch with each other, even though he had sworn to delete her from his life. And the worst thing was, they were still carrying on their affair. One of her messages even read: ‘I don’t mind being the third party as long as I’m with you.’” 

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“When he got home, I told him I had discovered his dirty little secret and gave him an ultimatum.”

“He chose her, a girl he barely knew. It hurt that he would rather throw away our seven-year-relationship to be with someone so young, whom he’d met online. This time, we were separated for 14 months, and didn’t talk to each other in that time.” 

The harassment begins
“I suffered from depression during our separation. I couldn’t eat, didn’t have the motivation to work, and shut everyone out from my life. My friends and family were worried. But whenever they asked if I was alright, I’d nod and reassure them that everything was fine, making up excuses about how work was stressing me out.” 

“Last Christmas, my friends sent me well wishes on Wechat. As I was scrolling through my timeline, I saw a picture of Don and Karen celebrating the festive season. Karen had added me on the app a few months back, when she was all apologetic and guilty about coming between Don and me. 


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“She knew I would see the picture because I use the app quite frequently. It seemed like she was trying to tell me they were having an amazing time together, and to prove to me that their love is real. That was just the beginning. 

“Over the next couple of months, whenever I scrolled through my Wechat timeline, I would see a picture of them accompanied by a nasty caption like, ‘Do you know what’s the difference between 
love and responsibilities?’ and ‘Because of you being an awful person, I got him.’”

“The nastiest message she posted: ‘You humiliated me the first time you met me, but never mind, I’ll let you lose like a dog because I have him now.’” 

“It got to the point where I couldn’t stand it anymore. I contacted Don and told him it’s not fair for her to harass me on social media, when I am clearly the victim.” 

“Don was sympathetic, but said there was nothing he could do, because Karen didn’t know we were still keeping in touch after our separation. I felt annoyed with the way he was handling things.
“The postings have continued, but these days, I try to ignore them. She can say or do whatever she wants – I just want to live a peaceful and simple life.” 

Getting back on track
“It has been one and a half years since I found out about Don’s affair. Although I’m still hurting, I’ve finally learnt to let go of my once-perfect relationship with him. I’m just glad that our separation didn’t turn ugly and we’re still on friendly terms.”
“I’ve started dating again. There hasn’t been a successful relationship so far, because I’m worried that the same thing might happen again. I still need time to heal my wounds – it’s not easy to let go of a relationship I’ve put so much love and effort into.”
“Don and I haven’t taken the next step to divorce yet. I’m still not comfortable with the idea of divorcing him. I am waiting for the day I wake up and decide it’s time to move on. Maybe someday I’ll meet someone new, someone who truly deserves my love.” 

*Names have been changed. Do you have a real-life drama to share or a true story that would inspire other readers? E-mail us at and we’ll get in touch with you.

This story was originally published in Her World Malaysia.