From The Straits Times    |

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Your maid clearly loves your baby and they have been together since he was born. That’s a very special relationship. Unfortunately, her domestic skills are dreadful. She is disorganised, forgetful and lazy. Your house is always in a mess – and you even found a cockroach in the nursery the other day.

Think carefully before you react. If things stay the same, you will continue to have a chaotic house and a happy infant. But if you switch maids, you could end up with a clean house and a miserable baby. Maybe, though, there is a way to achieve a good outcome for you and your bub.

WHY SO MESSY?

Your starting point for change should be a frank, calm discussion with your maid. Begin on a positive note by explaining that you are delighted with the way she cares for your little one. Let her know that you value the strong and positive relationship they have with each other, and that you can see he thrives psychologically in her care. Your helper will be happy with your encouraging comments and approval.

Then, mention your concerns about her domestic performance. However, don’t just reel off a list of everything that troubles you, along with many specific examples.

 

Also read: Solve these 12 common maid problems for a happier relationship with your helper

 

Instead, talk in general terms initially, just to test her reaction. Ask her how she feels she is coping with your household requirements. This gives her an opportunity to voice her side of the story. You may well find that she knows she struggles to meet her daily targets, and she may be relieved to have this chance to discuss the job with you. Or she may think that you’re happy with the way she cleans your house, especially if you haven’t complained about this before.

If you discover that she is totally oblivious to her poor domestic skills, give her a few examples of your concerns. Consider the fact that your helper grew up in a Third World environment and that she doesn’t know what domestic standards you want her to achieve. Emphasise that an organised home is very important to you. While you are pleased that she takes great care of your baby, it is only half her job.

KEEP IT REASONABLE

Your maid has to understand that you are looking for gradual improvement. Set one or two new targets to start the ball rolling, not dozens. For instance, she should vacuum your infant’s room daily and tidy the kitchen every morning.

If the targets are clear and achievable, she should be able to do what is asked of her. The next week, add another target, and steadily increase them until she has improved significantly.

 

Also read: 5 ways to get along with your maid

 

Of course, there is always the possibility that despite the encouragement, she is already working to the limits of her ability. Perhaps she needs so much time to care for your active child that no matter how hard she tries, she will never have enough time to keep your home clean and organised in the way you want it to be.

If you reach that conclusion, you’ve to decide if you can accept your maid’s limitations (because you think her relationship with your baby is top priority) and continue to employ her. Or if you feel so strongly about her poor domestic performance (because hygiene, cleanliness and organisation are your key concerns), you may want to switch maids. The choice is yours.

 

This story was originally published in the August 2014 issue of Young Parents.