Foreplay is the all-important lead-up to sex. Without which, the main event might not be explosive. 80% of the 40 Singaporeans that we polled agree. They say that foreplay is always the prelude to lovemaking and 70% of them wish it lasted longer.
To look forward to fabulous sex at night, you could tease each other at home, before leaving for work – be it in the shower, the quick nibble or grope or while dressing up – or send saucy SMSes/ MMSes in the middle of the afternoon.
40 Singapore men and women tell us what they prefer when it comes to foreplay. Image: Corbis
Read what these 40 Singapore men and women* share about their foreplay habits: we ask these 40 how much foreplay they’re getting and what they wish would be better.
1. WHEN FOREPLAY SHOULD START
50% of these Singaporeans polled would usually engage in foreplay whenever they feel horny.
- Maria: “I’d like foreplay to start the minute I wake up. It would be great to be teased while getting.”
- Jennifer: “It would be nice to get some foreplay in the morning – the build-up makes for mindblowing sex at night.”
- Maribel: “Anytime is a good time for foreplay!”
- Janene: “Ten minutes before we make love is more than enough for me.”
- Susanne: “I wish my hubby and I could start foreplay around 9pm, when I’m aroused. But that’s when we’re busy getting our kids ready for school the next day or putting them to bed.”
- Jack: “I’m up for foreplay anytime – except when I’m tired.”
- Neale: “I can only get into foreplay when I’m fully relaxed and not thinking about work.”
- Michael: “I am always open to foreplay. I wish my wife and I were friskier during the day. We don’t usually mess around till we’re ready to have sex, and then before I know it, the whole act is over.”
2. A LITTLE EXTRA HELP
40% of those polled would use sex toys and accessories during foreplay. These seven talk candidly about the accessories that they prefer.
- Christie: “We use a vibrator sometimes, when we’re feeling kinky. It adds an element of fun to our foreplay.”
- Claudine: “My husband and I don’t use toys during foreplay. Vibrators and handcuffs scare me.”
- Leanne: “Occasionally, we bring out the blindfolds and the handcuffs. They make us feel a bit naughty, and that always heightens our arousal.”
- Rina: “Our foreplay is more romantic than kinky. I can’t imagine what we’d do with sex toys.”
- Damian: “I’m not a fan of vibrators, personally, but I don’t mind some light bondage – I bring out the handcuffs – to get my fire going.”
- Ming: “Sex toys and accessories are a lot of fun. I recently bought my wife a smokin’ hot nurse’s uniform – it totally spiced up our foreplay!”
- Alvin: “I like being massaged with those sexy edible body oils. When my wife brings out the bottle, I know we’re in for a fun foreplay session!”
3. HOW LONG SHOULD FOREPLAY GO ON FOR
Our poll results show that 40% spend 0-10 minutes on foreplay, 30% would take 10-30 minutes, 20% say their foreplay lasts about 30-45 minutes while the remaining 10% would actually go on more than 45 minutes.
- Hanis: “Foreplay to me is better than sex. So if I had my way, I’d want it to last forever.”
- Renee: “It takes me about 45 minutes to get really aroused and ready for sex. Unfortunately, foreplay with my husband seldom lasts that long.”
- Christina: “I don’t like to spend too much time on it. I’m always eager to get to the main event.”
- Carmel: “As long as it takes for me to feel super aroused – I like it when my husband takes me to the brink with his hands and tongue.”
- Joshua: “It’d be nice if my wife and I spent more time on foreplay. That’s when I am most emotionally connected to her, so I’d love to prolong those warm, sexy feelings.”
- Bryan: “I don’t need more than a few minutes of kissing and fondling to feel completely ready for sex.”
- Devinder: “I always take the time to pleasure my wife. But I personally don’t need a lot of foreplay to get revved up. Five minutes is probably all it takes.”
4. FAVE FOREPLAY TECHNIQUES
Besides kissing and stroking, 90% said mutual masturbation and oral sex were preferred foreplay techniques. Massage was another favourite; 40% of them said their foreplay typically entailed some massaging.
- Arianna: “I need clitoral stimulation and plenty of kissing.”
- Jane: “I like it when my hubby pays attention to my breasts and clitoris, and kisses my neck and belly.”
- Carolyn: “We start with kissing and stroking, then oral sex and mutual masturbation. That’s our routine and it works for us.”
- Lydia: “I wear lingerie to bed and sometimes do a striptease for my hubby. Then we spend about an hour kissing and touching.”
- Dean: “I love it when my wife spends ages teasing me with her tongue and hands.”
- Kelvyn: “It drives me wild when my wife moans softly while we’re making out, then she touches my sensitive spots.”
- Jon: “I love it when my wife focuses on my hot spots – my inner thighs, abdomen and penis.”
- David: “When my wife masturbates me while kissing and licking my chest and belly, it turns me on a lot.”
5. DIRTY TALKING
70% of them say that yes, dirty talking turns them on. But not everyone concurs; these seven share why they would – or wouldn’t – go with unmentionable utterances in bed.
- Kiranjit: “A big ‘yes’. I get hot when my hubby says nasty things to me in the heat of the moment.”
- Weiling: “I’m not comfortable talking dirty during foreplay, and I think I’d freak out if my husband did too. It just sounds weird to me.”
- Robyn: “Soft moaning is okay, but not dirty talk. We’re not making a porn flick.”
- Deanna: “I whisper my hubby’s name and other unmentionable words during foreplay. It’s sexy!”
- Peter: “Yes, yes, yes!”
- Chee Ming: “Definitely ‘yes’. It turns me on when my wife and I whisper naughty things into each other’s ears while we’re getting hot and heavy.”
- Leon: “Talking dirty is a good thing, but it has to be real. I hate when my wife says things because she thinks it makes me horny, but actually it’s off-putting.”
- Rajendran: “I wish my wife would tell me how much she wants me and what she wants me to do to her. She’s mostly quiet in bed so I never know if I’m pleasuring her the right way.”
- Raymond: “I love dirty talk – it makes me feel like such a stud!”
*To get these 40 men and women to spill the beans on their foreplay habits, all names have been changed.
This article was originally published in SimplyHer May 2011.
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