Foreplay is the all-important lead-up to sex. Without which, the main event might not be explosive. 80% of the 40 Singaporeans that we polled agree. They say that foreplay is always the prelude to lovemaking and 70% of them wish it lasted longer.

To look forward to fabulous sex at night, you could tease each other at home, before leaving for work – be it in the shower, the quick nibble or grope or while dressing up – or send saucy SMSes/ MMSes in the middle of the afternoon.

40 Singapore men and women tell us what they prefer when it comes to foreplay. Image: Corbis

Read what these 40 Singapore men and women* share about their foreplay habits: we ask these 40 how much foreplay they’re getting and what they wish would be better.

1. WHEN FOREPLAY SHOULD START
50% of these Singaporeans polled would usually engage in foreplay whenever they feel horny.

SHE SAYS

  • Maria: “I’d like foreplay to start the minute I wake up. It would be great to be teased while getting.”
  • Jennifer: “It would be nice to get some foreplay in the morning – the build-up makes for mindblowing sex at night.”
  • Maribel: “Anytime is a good time for foreplay!”
  • Janene: “Ten minutes before we make love is more than enough for me.”
  • Susanne: “I wish my hubby and I could start foreplay around 9pm, when I’m aroused. But that’s when we’re busy getting our kids ready for school the next day or putting them to bed.”

HE SAYS

  • Jack: “I’m up for foreplay anytime – except when I’m tired.”
  • Neale: “I can only get into foreplay when I’m fully relaxed and not thinking about work.”
  • Michael: “I am always open to foreplay. I wish my wife and I were friskier during the day. We don’t usually mess around till we’re ready to have sex, and then before I know it, the whole act is over.”

2. A LITTLE EXTRA HELP
40% of those polled would use sex toys and accessories during foreplay. These seven talk candidly about the accessories that they prefer.

SHE SAYS

  • Christie: “We use a vibrator sometimes, when we’re feeling kinky. It adds an element of fun to our foreplay.”
  • Claudine: “My husband and I don’t use toys during foreplay. Vibrators and handcuffs scare me.”
  • Leanne: “Occasionally, we bring out the blindfolds and the handcuffs. They make us feel a bit naughty, and that always heightens our arousal.”
  • Rina: “Our foreplay is more romantic than kinky. I can’t imagine what we’d do with sex toys.” 

HE SAYS

  • Damian: “I’m not a fan of vibrators, personally, but I don’t mind some light bondage – I bring out the handcuffs – to get my fire going.”
  • Ming: “Sex toys and accessories are a lot of fun. I recently bought my wife a smokin’ hot nurse’s uniform – it totally spiced up our foreplay!”
  • Alvin: “I like being massaged with those sexy edible body oils. When my wife brings out the bottle, I know we’re in for a fun foreplay session!”

3. HOW LONG SHOULD FOREPLAY GO ON FOR
Our poll results show that 40% spend 0-10 minutes on foreplay, 30% would take 10-30 minutes, 20% say their foreplay lasts about 30-45 minutes while the remaining 10% would actually go on more than 45 minutes.

SHE SAYS

  • Hanis: “Foreplay to me is better than sex. So if I had my way, I’d want it to last forever.”
  • Renee: “It takes me about 45 minutes to get really aroused and ready for sex. Unfortunately, foreplay with my husband seldom lasts that long.”
  • Christina: “I don’t like to spend too much time on it. I’m always eager to get to the main event.”
  • Carmel: “As long as it takes for me to feel super aroused – I like it when my husband takes me to the brink with his hands and tongue.”

HE SAYS

  • Joshua: “It’d be nice if my wife and I spent more time on foreplay. That’s when I am most emotionally connected to her, so I’d love to prolong those warm, sexy feelings.”
  • Bryan: “I don’t need more than a few minutes of kissing and fondling to feel completely ready for sex.”
  • Devinder: “I always take the time to pleasure my wife. But I personally don’t need a lot of foreplay to get revved up. Five minutes is probably all it takes.”

4. FAVE FOREPLAY TECHNIQUES
Besides kissing and stroking, 90% said mutual masturbation and oral sex were preferred foreplay techniques. Massage was another favourite; 40% of them said their foreplay typically entailed some massaging.

SHE SAYS

  • Arianna: “I need clitoral stimulation and plenty of kissing.”
  • Jane: “I like it when my hubby pays attention to my breasts and clitoris, and kisses my neck and belly.”
  • Carolyn: “We start with kissing and stroking, then oral sex and mutual masturbation. That’s our routine and it works for us.”
  • Lydia: “I wear lingerie to bed and sometimes do a striptease for my hubby. Then we spend about an hour kissing and touching.”

HE SAYS

  • Dean: “I love it when my wife spends ages teasing me with her tongue and hands.”
  • Kelvyn: “It drives me wild when my wife moans softly while we’re making out, then she touches my sensitive spots.”
  • Jon: “I love it when my wife focuses on my hot spots – my inner thighs, abdomen and penis.”
  • David: “When my wife masturbates me while kissing and licking my chest and belly, it turns me on a lot.”

5. DIRTY TALKING
70% of them say that yes, dirty talking turns them on. But not everyone concurs; these seven share why they would – or wouldn’t – go with unmentionable utterances in bed.

SHE SAYS

  • Kiranjit: “A big ‘yes’. I get hot when my hubby says nasty things to me in the heat of the moment.”
  • Weiling: “I’m not comfortable talking dirty during foreplay, and I think I’d freak out if my husband did too. It just sounds weird to me.”
  • Robyn: “Soft moaning is okay, but not dirty talk. We’re not making a porn flick.”
  • Deanna: “I whisper my hubby’s name and other unmentionable words during foreplay. It’s sexy!”

HE SAYS

  • Peter: “Yes, yes, yes!”
  • Chee Ming: “Definitely ‘yes’. It turns me on when my wife and I whisper naughty things into each other’s ears while we’re getting hot and heavy.”
  • Leon: “Talking dirty is a good thing, but it has to be real. I hate when my wife says things because she thinks it makes me horny, but actually it’s off-putting.”
  • Rajendran: “I wish my wife would tell me how much she wants me and what she wants me to do to her. She’s mostly quiet in bed so I never know if I’m pleasuring her the right way.”
  • Raymond: “I love dirty talk – it makes me feel like such a stud!”

*To get these 40 men and women to spill the beans on their foreplay habits, all names have been changed.

This article was originally published in SimplyHer May 2011.